I have been through so much. I know the right thing to do. I know the best healing path. I know it because I have lived it. I know the things that can hurt me and the things that can further me into a good place.
But it is hard sometimes to take my own advice. It is hard because my cellular memory does not cooperate with my brain. Some guy comes along and says something inappropriate and I KNOW what to do. I know what the right thing to do is and what the correct words are. I know the way to respond that will give me a feeling of self love and self validation. But the cellular memory seems to over power my brains advice. And I do nothing.
It is hard to undo a traumatic event. It is so hard. What your body, mind, and spirit, did to survive is what your body mind and spirit naturally go back to as a mechanism.Not all the time. But sometimes.Usually when someone catches you off guard. Which is what manipulators and sociopaths do. And when that happens we are often brought to a place where we know what to do but can’t.
So I have quick advice to give here on this short little blog. When you cannot take your own advice, then you need someone else who will help be your advocate. You cannot always do it alone and that is OK. You don’t have to prove anything to yourself. You just have to make sure the truth is always told. And that may be from a friend who can help you.
I know the solutions to so many feelings that go along with abuse. But when my body does not cooperate with my mind, I have to call in a friend. I had to do it alone as a child. But things are different now. You don’t have to be alone. There are people who will help you to be strong when you don’t feel like you can do it alone.
So don’t beat yourself up. Just call a friend. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.