Raw words bring awareness of the truth.

This morning I woke up and thought…I should write a happy blog. I don’t want people to think things are all bad, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.

That kind of thinking is what shut my mouth for too many years. Worried about being judged. Worried about what others will think and say. Thinking more about other people than myself. Thinking about their feelings instead of validating and expressing my own.

The things I write about in my blog are things that I feel I must share to help other women during their healing process. I write about the hard things because they need to be written about.

There is such a stigma on the raw. If I do not speak of it then who will. I hope that my voice encourages others to have their voice. The raw may be hard to hear. It is hard to feel. Speaking of it creates a bridge to healing. Speaking the words tells every part of myself that I am not ashamed any longer.

The emotions that I have shared in my blog are emotions that I did not even allow myself to feel until just one year ago. I cannot hide my struggle. I cannot hide the sadness, the anger, and the depression that come in and out of my life. It would be an injustice to those who are fighting with me to overcome abuse if I sugar coated the reality. There is no shame in what you are going through. There is no need to always feel you have to sugar coat the truth.

I have no desire to write happy words any more than I have a desire to speak happy words.
Sexual abuse is NOT happy.
I am writing about a topic that cannot be and should not be altered so that others have an easiness about reading it. To spread awareness and understanding of sexual abuse it is imperative that we speak the truth.

I will continue to speak my truth and I hope that you do too.

13 thoughts on “Raw words bring awareness of the truth.

  1. I feel like this sometimes, too. I feel like there should be something uplifting, some sort of positive post on my blog to break up the deep, dark topics. But then, that’s why I started my blog in the first place – I was always worried about how everyone else felt, and what they would think. Keep going. I will, too.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Write what you feel and what you need to. That is the perfect gift you can give to the world. Sometimes it helps others also to read about the darkness. They start to see that they aren’t the only one. Also, it triggers their compassion for your experience, and from that, they can start to learn to bring compassion to their own experience as well. At least, that is part of what reading WP blogs by survivors has been doing for me. It’s very powerful.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for this! I can’t tell you how much I have struggled with having my blog. And a lot of the struggle was for this very reason. I only started blogging about 8 months ago. I felt a tremendous amount of pressure to be positive, whether implied or perceived. I felt like everyone wanted me to be better, to be happy. I know it was because my poetry and words were hard to read. But abuse is not pretty. It wasn’t like I have been talking about this my whole life. I just started. I had been silent my whole life, I had pretended to be happy when I was dying inside. Speaking up is healing. Even when healing comes, there are ups and downs. I don’t think the struggle ever fully goes away. We have no control over the triggers that create so much turmoil. I have grown and discovered a lot about myself through blogging. One thing that I think is very important, is that we are always mindful and respectful of where other abuse victims are. They don’t have to be where we are. And tomorrow we could be there again with just one unexpected trigger. One thing I have learned, is that when possible, it is okay to take a break from the intensity of the focus on the abuse. I have been overwhelmed at times from all that the blogging has surfaced in me. I struggle a lot with anxiety. But have become an expert at hiding it. I have found some relief from the intensity in living again. This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle, it just means that some joy now sits along side my sorrow. I have always admired your honesty in times when you were strong and also in sharing your times of struggle. And I respect you for that. If it weren’t for my husband I probably wouldn’t be still blogging. He gets the struggle is deep and life altering. And that it shows up unexpectantly and he stays in tune with how I am doing emotionally. I wasn’t prepared for this aspect of blogging. It makes you feel silenced all over again. You continue to be an inspiration, whether you are doing well or deep in your struggle. I truly admire you Bethany! Again, thank you for this!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I So appreciate your response! I also started blogging around the same time that you did. I had no idea how blogging would open up so much that I had buried. I had no idea the emotions I would feel putting things down on paper. And I had no idea the support and validation and understanding I would get from women like you that has been just so helpful to me. My husband also is extremely supportive. He gains a lot of perspective from what I have in my mind that I am finally sharing. When I first started I was writing every week. Now, kind of like you said on taking a break from the intensity, I take breaks. I write, get it all out. Then I just step away for a few weeks and just go back to my day to day life. Then when I come up on another topic that feels important to me to write about then I do. It can be extremely intense. To be silenced your whole life and then finally put it ALL out there is really an overwhelming experience. So we have to go at it slowly.
      I love your poetry. It is hard to read. But abuse is hard. And those words others, like me can relate to, and it makes me feel like someone else truly gets what I have felt through all of this. Thank you for taking the time to share and for being so sweet to me. I really appreciate you. I agree with everything you’ve said. The struggle doesn’t go away. It makes it less painful to know others understand.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I find a connection following with conversations in this blogs. Thank you guys for sharing your thoughts and feelings. The truth will set us all free but it will hurt us first. I know we can make it with everyone around.

    Liked by 1 person

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