This morning I woke up and thought…I should write a happy blog. I don’t want people to think things are all bad, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.
That kind of thinking is what shut my mouth for too many years. Worried about being judged. Worried about what others will think and say. Thinking more about other people than myself. Thinking about their feelings instead of validating and expressing my own.
The things I write about in my blog are things that I feel I must share to help other women during their healing process. I write about the hard things because they need to be written about.
There is such a stigma on the raw. If I do not speak of it then who will. I hope that my voice encourages others to have their voice. The raw may be hard to hear. It is hard to feel. Speaking of it creates a bridge to healing. Speaking the words tells every part of myself that I am not ashamed any longer.
The emotions that I have shared in my blog are emotions that I did not even allow myself to feel until just one year ago. I cannot hide my struggle. I cannot hide the sadness, the anger, and the depression that come in and out of my life. It would be an injustice to those who are fighting with me to overcome abuse if I sugar coated the reality. There is no shame in what you are going through. There is no need to always feel you have to sugar coat the truth.
I have no desire to write happy words any more than I have a desire to speak happy words.
Sexual abuse is NOT happy.
I am writing about a topic that cannot be and should not be altered so that others have an easiness about reading it. To spread awareness and understanding of sexual abuse it is imperative that we speak the truth.
I will continue to speak my truth and I hope that you do too.