I loved Jordy. But he deserved better. He lived with me and my abusive boyfriend for years. Jordy was scared. He was stuck in an apartment with nowhere to run. When I got married and had a child we lived on an acre and my mother in law took him for 5 mile runs. He finally got the life he deserved. But soon after we moved into a small condo coincidently right across the street from where the abusive boyfriend and me lived. There was a park that had acres of woods behind it. Every day we went there for my daughter to play and Jordy to run but the rest of his life was just stuck in that condo, again. He deserved better. My daughter was at an age where she would jump out, run around all crazy 3 year old. That scared Jordy. It scared him because he knew fear based on my old boyfriend. I knew fear based on my old boyfriend.
My mother’s husband at the time lived on a lake with 5 acres. We would go out there every few weekends and bring Jordy. He loved those 5 acres. He loved to swim in the lake. He loved my mother’s husband and my mother. They offered to take him. I remember driving away and seeing his face. I wondered what he thought. The next time we went to the lake he was thrilled to see us. We loved on him and played with him in the water. When we left I didn’t get as much as a look over the shoulder. He just walked back inside his new home and that was that. My mom’s husband loved Jordy. Not only did he love him but he could offer him what I could not. Jordy got to live out the rest of his life in absolute dog luxury. My mom’s husband did that.
I loved Jordy. I loved him enough to let him go. Because I was able to let him go, because my mom’s husband was the loving man that he was, because my mom loved Jordy too, he got what he deserved. Jordy got the better life that he deserved. He was loved. He was safe. He didn’t feel fear or trapped.
In our life circumstances we cannot always be what we want to be for others. When we cannot, we need to know our limitation, know when to walk away, and know when that person deserves love and protection that we cannot offer. I wish more people would have walked away from me, known I deserved not to feel trapped, known I deserved to not live in fear, known I deserved better. Alas, we cannot all have the relationship I had with my Jordy. And we don’t always have inlaws to provide a new life. I am glad though, that at least Jordy, got what he deserved.