I called a telemarketer a rapist

Telemarketer: “Hello ma’am we are doing a survey about our country”

Me: “I have asked to be removed off your list and yet you keep calling. I even asked nicely.Remove me now, please.”

Telemarketer: “I am so sorry ma’am I will take you off the list, but first I would just like to ask you a quick question about a survey we are doing.”

Me: “As I already stated I am not interested in this phone call, or your survey, and would like you to stop calling my house and stop calling my cell phone and remove me from your list.”

Telemarketer: “But ma’am it is just a quick survey.”

Me: “You are just like a rapist! A freaking telemarketer rapist. You don’t know that NO MEANS NO! So you just keep going and going!” I hang up as he is still speaking…

I know how it feels to not be heard. I know how it feels to have “no” not meant “no”. I know how it feels to wish I could speak but not be able to. I am working on finding my voice not just in my blog but in real life. In the last week telemarketers have called my house round the clock. 7 am, 12 pm, 8pm, and last night 10pm. My home phone and my cell phone are being called for every survey imaginable. And “no” seems to not mean anything to them. I am aware these people have a job. I also kindly tell them I am not interested. They are giving me great practice in reacting to people who do not listen to my “no”. It is an interesting phenomenon that happens in the body when you feel rage at someone not listening to your “no”. Especially if that “no” usually resulted in physical and emotional harm. So these telemarketers are quite the trigger in the last week as they are relentless in not respecting my even kind way of saying, “No thank you. ” I mean. I could hang up. I could start yelling right away. But I just say kindly that I am not interested.  Doesn’t matter. They just keep pushing. And I find that unacceptable. 

One person’s agenda should not disrespect another person’s right to not want to be a part of it. 

Telemarketers scare me. I wonder what they do when they stop pushing their agenda on people at work. I wonder after practicing NOT listening all day and practicing being disrespectful all day, how they treat other people. Are being conditioned to not care what other’s feel? Any job that requires you to disregard another person’s feelings is not a job you should be doing or that I respect. I know not all telemarketers are the devil. I’ve had about 25 though that sure remind me of rapists! 

My daughter and I were watching a movie last night and a character in the movie told an inappropriate joke. The other character replied to the joke by saying,  “That’s sick and I don’t find it funny at all. Stop telling me stuff like that.” My daughter and I then talked about the people that you run across in life, school, work, social events, that say inappropriate things. They say an inappropriate sexual comment and no one says a thing. My daughter said she wished more people were like the kid in the movie who immediately said no to the unwanted inappropriate joke. I don’t like people who get in a setting that they feel comfortable catching you off guard by saying something that is not ok. Usually you are so shocked that you may laugh, or ignore it, or just go along with it. These kind of people take you off guard and they know exactly how to do that because they are manipulators. It takes a very strong individual to call someone out on inappropriate comments. I usually walk away from them and lay in my bed that night mad at myself for not saying something in the moment. Most of us do that. Wish we would have said more, said something, but didn’t, or couldn’t. 

So I suppose the telemarketers are giving me good practice on speaking my mind when someone says something that is disrespectful to me and my choice.  It will be nice when after I hang up with a telemarketer I don’t feel like I’m going to pass out or vomit. Imagine how hard it is to say “no” in person when you can’t even do it to a telemarketer! So I am practicing, hoping to pull it off without fainting soon. It is HARD. I have been hard wired to to just say YES. I’ve got to rewire and that is difficult. 

When my daughter was 3 she was doing a split and one of my family members said,  “well that will come in handy one day!” And I said NOTHING!!!  Who expects to be at a family event and have someone say that about your child? No one expects the vile comments made to catch you off guard and they are repeat offenders because often times no one says anything. How can they? They are too shocked! But it is time that stops. No more going to bed wishing I had said something that I couldn’t. Abuse puts you in this perpetual state of silence and I am so sick of it. I would rather yell at a telemarketer and tell him that he is like a rapist than allow anyone in my life to try and manipulate me again. 

My daughter:”Mom, did you just tell another telemarketer they were like a rapist?”

Me: “Yes, I did. And I will keep yelling at people who don’t listen when I say,  “No means no !” 

If we all looked at the man who said,  “That will come in handy one day,” when my 3 year old did a split,  and told him he was disgusting, and then left, I’m pretty sure he would get a good indication that these comments were not OK! Someone should have said something even if I coulnd’t. We all knew it was wrong. 

 I am striving to be a person who uses her voice. I am striving to be that person who stands up and yells “no” until I am heard. It is not easy. But it is a start, even if it is just a telemarketer.

13 thoughts on “I called a telemarketer a rapist

  1. It’s so interesting, those people are trained to get you to stay on the phone against their own humanity and they are put through hell to do it. Imagine the person on the other side who has to do that to you.
    I’ve struggled for a long time to earn money and to avoid marketing and sales, my stomach turns every time I have to try and convince someone to sign up for a credit card, knowing how much debt my family has struggled through, how money problems have destroyed such a huge part of my life.
    It’s hard to visualise the other side of the coin knowing how their actions affect you.
    The inappropriate joke happens and it’s not a personal attack, there is something wrong inside that person too, some struggle of masculinity that forces them to announce what they believe to be a reenforcement of what role they need to live up to.
    I look to myself and I wonder why I can’t simply say the beautiful parts like my last post the shattered eye, why I resort to things that are so explicit and hateful.
    I believe it’s part of a bigger picture and there’s beauty in the quantam mechanical, the astrophysicical and the apparent impossible interaction in between.
    In no way do I mean to belittle your success. Continue to grow and strengthen yourself and your daughter. Your post did however move something in my thoughts that I felt worth writing.


  2. I feel like that about telemarketing calls too. I am very nice when I first so no, I don’t think so. And they keep going. And I say, no, that’s not for me. And they keep going. Aaaah! I know it is their training. So perhaps it is really their trainers we should be protesting to. In fact, now that I think about it, maybe next time NO is not meaning no to the person on the other end of the line, I will ask to speak to the manager and say how distressing it is for rape victims to have their NO ignored.


  3. Good for you for speaking up. That is a very hard thing for me to do at times, still. One morning, I got a call from a telemarketer at about 5:30 am. I was barely up, and ticked off at my son about something, and I yelled at this woman, telling her how dare she call me at 5:30 am. I lit into her and she hung up on me. (I was thinking it might have been a scam of some sort, because it was so early).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. No it is NOT easy! It is hard to find your voice when you were conditioned to not have one. I can attest to that. I am finding my voice too and the ones I’m finally speaking up to are not appreciating me. I have never seen such temper tantrums from grown adults as they try to manipulate me back into a weak and silent one. I’m so glad you are exercising this muscle. It does get easier and you have to start somewhere!


    • I as always the “sweet” one and that only meant I was quiet and never said anything about anything. I am still sweet I just speak my mind and no one in my family nor a few friends liked that very much. They liked the quiet one who just let them be as offensive and disregarding as they could be. I just can’t be that person anymore and it sounds like you can’t either!

      Liked by 1 person

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