Telemarketer: “Hello ma’am we are doing a survey about our country”
Me: “I have asked to be removed off your list and yet you keep calling. I even asked nicely.Remove me now, please.”
Telemarketer: “I am so sorry ma’am I will take you off the list, but first I would just like to ask you a quick question about a survey we are doing.”
Me: “As I already stated I am not interested in this phone call, or your survey, and would like you to stop calling my house and stop calling my cell phone and remove me from your list.”
Telemarketer: “But ma’am it is just a quick survey.”
Me: “You are just like a rapist! A freaking telemarketer rapist. You don’t know that NO MEANS NO! So you just keep going and going!” I hang up as he is still speaking…
I know how it feels to not be heard. I know how it feels to have “no” not meant “no”. I know how it feels to wish I could speak but not be able to. I am working on finding my voice not just in my blog but in real life. In the last week telemarketers have called my house round the clock. 7 am, 12 pm, 8pm, and last night 10pm. My home phone and my cell phone are being called for every survey imaginable. And “no” seems to not mean anything to them. I am aware these people have a job. I also kindly tell them I am not interested. They are giving me great practice in reacting to people who do not listen to my “no”. It is an interesting phenomenon that happens in the body when you feel rage at someone not listening to your “no”. Especially if that “no” usually resulted in physical and emotional harm. So these telemarketers are quite the trigger in the last week as they are relentless in not respecting my even kind way of saying, “No thank you. ” I mean. I could hang up. I could start yelling right away. But I just say kindly that I am not interested. Doesn’t matter. They just keep pushing. And I find that unacceptable.
One person’s agenda should not disrespect another person’s right to not want to be a part of it.
Telemarketers scare me. I wonder what they do when they stop pushing their agenda on people at work. I wonder after practicing NOT listening all day and practicing being disrespectful all day, how they treat other people. Are being conditioned to not care what other’s feel? Any job that requires you to disregard another person’s feelings is not a job you should be doing or that I respect. I know not all telemarketers are the devil. I’ve had about 25 though that sure remind me of rapists!
My daughter and I were watching a movie last night and a character in the movie told an inappropriate joke. The other character replied to the joke by saying, “That’s sick and I don’t find it funny at all. Stop telling me stuff like that.” My daughter and I then talked about the people that you run across in life, school, work, social events, that say inappropriate things. They say an inappropriate sexual comment and no one says a thing. My daughter said she wished more people were like the kid in the movie who immediately said no to the unwanted inappropriate joke. I don’t like people who get in a setting that they feel comfortable catching you off guard by saying something that is not ok. Usually you are so shocked that you may laugh, or ignore it, or just go along with it. These kind of people take you off guard and they know exactly how to do that because they are manipulators. It takes a very strong individual to call someone out on inappropriate comments. I usually walk away from them and lay in my bed that night mad at myself for not saying something in the moment. Most of us do that. Wish we would have said more, said something, but didn’t, or couldn’t.
So I suppose the telemarketers are giving me good practice on speaking my mind when someone says something that is disrespectful to me and my choice. It will be nice when after I hang up with a telemarketer I don’t feel like I’m going to pass out or vomit. Imagine how hard it is to say “no” in person when you can’t even do it to a telemarketer! So I am practicing, hoping to pull it off without fainting soon. It is HARD. I have been hard wired to to just say YES. I’ve got to rewire and that is difficult.
When my daughter was 3 she was doing a split and one of my family members said, “well that will come in handy one day!” And I said NOTHING!!! Who expects to be at a family event and have someone say that about your child? No one expects the vile comments made to catch you off guard and they are repeat offenders because often times no one says anything. How can they? They are too shocked! But it is time that stops. No more going to bed wishing I had said something that I couldn’t. Abuse puts you in this perpetual state of silence and I am so sick of it. I would rather yell at a telemarketer and tell him that he is like a rapist than allow anyone in my life to try and manipulate me again.
My daughter:”Mom, did you just tell another telemarketer they were like a rapist?”
Me: “Yes, I did. And I will keep yelling at people who don’t listen when I say, “No means no !”
If we all looked at the man who said, “That will come in handy one day,” when my 3 year old did a split, and told him he was disgusting, and then left, I’m pretty sure he would get a good indication that these comments were not OK! Someone should have said something even if I coulnd’t. We all knew it was wrong.
I am striving to be a person who uses her voice. I am striving to be that person who stands up and yells “no” until I am heard. It is not easy. But it is a start, even if it is just a telemarketer.