Forgiveness: How, Why, and When

Reblogging some of my old posts when I just started writing

NOT MY SECRET...overcoming the shame of sexual abuse

Years ago, I met this woman who told me that her father had sexually abused her and her siblings. But she had forgiven him because she wanted her children to have a grandfather in their life. So forgiveness to her may have meant one thing to her  but to me it meant something entirely different. For her it meant she forgave him by denying the truth and allowing her children to have a grandfather. To me it meant….So you’ve decided to let your children be abused just like you were all in the name of forgiveness?

If forgiveness means that a woman then exposes her children to abuse then I would say forgiveness is NOT an option with that definition!

The wife of the man that violated me said that I JUST NEEDED TO FORGIVE HIM! Because, she said, if I did that, then everything would be OK. For who? Him? Well…

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