Details of the abuse

My blog began with this letter. The results from the response from my family to this letter gave me a voice to start this blog. Their abandonment made me realize I could be silent nolonger. It is a long read, but it explains in detail, some of the things that happened and why I was silent for so long.

NOT MY SECRET...the journey towards healing from abuse

  • Details could be triggering for sexual abuse survivors.

I wrote a letter   about the abuse that I endured. I have changed every name in the letter except my own. I sent the letter to the people that I felt needed to know this truth. In doing so I was able to see other people’s truths as well. I have learned that many people do not want to hear the truth. 

So often sexual abuse has so many things attached to it that makes the victim feel so alone. It just isn’t spoken of. It is so often hidden by those who know and others who don’t want anyone else to know. 

But by keeping sexual abuse a secret, there is never justice. No justice for the victim.

So many secrets upon secrets upon secrets that never should have been a secret to begin with. 

It is pretty simple. There…

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5 thoughts on “Details of the abuse

  1. I’m glad that you wrote this, but at this time, I can’t read it. My trigger level is high this time of year (because it’s when my abuse began). I’ll try to read it after the holidays.


  2. It is interesting for me to reread this letter. I wrote this to my father and my father only. I CC’d it to my mom and brother and stepdad. I did that so that they would never bring up the ski club again, a constant in the family. I wanted no more triggers. I wrote this letter before even knowing I HAD PTSD. I wrote this before realizing the magnitude of what had been done to me. They were words, emotions, expressions. I wrote that I was healed. I am not. Because they held me back from healing for most of my life with their constant reminders.
    After I wrote this letter I received hate mail from my stepfather and blame from my mother and excuses of why I was abused and how it was not any of their faults but my own for asking to go back to ski, for wanting to go to ski school. I had no idea that a sex offender was around every skiing corner. My family has not spoken to me since. None of them. This was to my father only. But none of them have spoken to me. I read this letter tonight with a different set of objective eyes. I read it as if I were my twin brother reading it. I read it as if my mother were reading it. And it pained me immensely to know that even after I finally spoke, it only resulted in abandonment and blame. My older brother blamed me for intentionally hurting my mother. My twin brother and cousins just simply stopped speaking to me. My mother. She’s just gone. I know it was a hard read. I know it was a painful read. But I read it again as a mother. A mother who has a daughter. I read it as if my daughter had written this to me. And my only response would have been to get in the car, drive to her house, and hold her and never let her go.



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