I’ve let you go…finally…Maybe.

Sometimes you truly have to walk away and not look back.

I’ve written about my family. I talked about my family. I’ve tried to process my family still living but nolonger speaking to me. I’ve been angry at my family, disgusted by them, disappointed by them, broken hearted by them. They hurt me deeply, intentionally, and without remorse. I acknowledge that and I have allowed myself to feel that completely. I have not deprived myself of anything they deprived me of. I have felt, I have screamed, I have wept. For one year and nine months.

I do believe that is all the time they deserve.

I have to let them go.

They let me go a long time ago.

I am now turning my back and walking away. They don’t get to inhabit any more of my brain space. They don’t get to invade my thoughts. I allowed that. I am not anymore. No more crying. No more anger. No more anything.

They left me, and now I will let them go.

I don’t choose to or not to forgive them. I just won’t allow them in my space or in my present or in my future any longer.

It is long past time for my brain to cut its ties.

To my family I simply say…

Goodbye.

17 thoughts on “I’ve let you go…finally…Maybe.

  1. VERY proud of you!! I, myself am working on that and it has been A LOT longer than a year and some months. My husband’s family was very toxic. From horrible childhood abuse, to a lifetime of emotional abuse. We had a memorial service for ALL of them. He chose an animal for each, and he said his peace, and said out loud that they did NOT beat him. We then set them “sail”on a little lake in the mountains. I cannot tell you the difference it has made in him emotionally. Maybe I should do that too… Good for you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like that suggestion of somanyminutes–some time of release ceremony could be very meaningful.

    This is a courageous and life-affirming step you are taking, one you sound so ready for. Sending you love and good wishes for what the future without this burden.

    Liked by 1 person

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