Poetry…nightmares 

This has never happened to me, but it is a nightmare I frequently have. It is very violent and horrifyingly I know, somewhere in the world, it is happening to someone. How do you fall back asleep after this. Do you even try? Ive only slept 3 hours. I still hear the owls outside……

This comes with a heavy trigger warning.

Nightmare
I can never run,

My legs don’t move,

They catch me every where.

They follow me into my dreams

Turning them to nightmares.

I dial a phone,

Like I always do,

But the buttons

Turn to play dough.

I look frantically in all directions

But there is nowhere for me to go.
I try all the windows,

Squeeze out one  to cold dark air.

I think I am free 

But more men wait there.

I run past barefooted downed the street,

Naked,

Completely bare.
Waving,

Crying,

The headlights shine in my eyes.

They just keep driving by.

I run down the center line.

Traffic flying past on both sides.

My feet are raw

Stripped like me

The fog has now settled

Making it harder to see.
One man stops

He’ll help me he swears

But they just catch him in their devil snare.

The men then snatch me up

Dragging me by my hair.
They  pull me in their truck,

And crush the man under the tires.

Laugh as they hear him break,

Bind my hands with wire.
“You’ll wish you were dead

When I get through with you,”

Then they sharpen their knives

And all their other tools.

They promise I will deeply pay.

For trying to get away.
I open my eyes,

In my own bed, 

 to the dim light of day.
Covered in sweat and shivering,

I should have just stayed awake.

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15 thoughts on “Poetry…nightmares 

      • It’s been a long strange trip. I really don’t know what matters any more. I didn’t get help in the mental health system for years when I begged for help. I was blocked and the damage was increased. I have fought through to be heard and am getting help now. I am also free from being threatened with further harm for talking out about. The evidence was there for anyone who cared to actually read my history

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      • That fact that you are getting help now and in no danger is a huge step. Im so sorry you experienced it and that no one listened and that you dont know what matters anymore. But you are on a good path if you are nolonger in danger of speaking and hopefully that will put you in a better place to heal.

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      • It’s just the scars… bridges burned. Damage done. Since it all happened my brother and then my best mate were each killed. I did not get help when I requested it. I was as compliant a patient in the system as is possible. In addition to that my continued and unblemished commitment to total abstinence was not appreciated by medical personnel even though I followed doctor’s treatment plans and provided open communication and feedback. Was a very strange experience until further things came to light and the connection between the original event and others. We need to be sure that we are getting the right help.

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      • I am SO sorry to hear about the death of your brother and friend. How tragic! And I am sure added on such pain and suffering to already past pain that you were working through.
        You are so right. The right help is what matters.

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    • Maybe after I wrote about it, it will be gone. I can only hope! It is something that is reoccurring and no matter how many times I wake up to knowing it is just a dream, it never feels like it.

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    • I have had them most of my life. They stay gone for awhile and then return in full force. It obviously has to do with my own trauma that has morphed into something way worse. Maybe as a child this is how I saw it.

      Liked by 1 person

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