Porn. Yes, I’m going there. 

Obvious triggers*

I was introduced to porn by a child predator as a little girl. I was shown pictures. I was shown videos. I was held down and I was dominated. I know how this feels first hand. I am NOT okay with porn, S&M, nude magazines, graphic sexual movies, or anything that falls under those catergories. There is no way to know if these women have been forced, are being trafficked, have been previously raped, or are currently being raped in any pornographic movie. 

 Women’s bodies are not to be used in such a manner for entertainment and for money. 

Our bodies are not meant to be used.

 Our bodies are not meant to be watched by others  for sexual gratification. 

And what about the men. How do we know they are there by their own free will in pornographic movies? Men are raped and forced into prostitution and trafficked JUST LIKE WOMEN! Are you sure that this porn video you are watching has people participating of their own free will? Even if all parties involved are willing participants, I do not believe this is the way sex was meant to be. I believe it to be highly immoral and contributing to the contamination of our soul. 

A woman is not meant to be dominated. 

A man is not meant to be dominated. 

Sex should not be accompanied by pain or bondage or submission. Sex should be intimate, private, cherished, consensual, and sacred. Any other sex I find vile and repulsive. 

It seems “natural” for young men to be given nude magazines I have heard. Boys will be boys I have heard. Why are parents teaching their boys that objectifying a woman’s body is okay? That looking at naked women in magazines is “natural”. I knew young girls with these magazines too. Girls have needs too I have heard.  These young girls and boys molested me along with adult men. I believe there is a strong correlation in watching porn, looking at nude magazines, and the corruption of the mind, and the confusion in a young mind on what is right and wrong. 

Where are morals taught. Where is integrity taught. Where is teaching respect and love and honoring ones body and other’s bodies taught?  I am not seeing it. I am seeing a world inundated with pornographic EVERYTHING. Look at fifty shades of grey. Best seller right? Bondage right? Really? This is what the world wants now? This is what individuals fantasize about? This is the new norm? I am disgusted. 

Porn and anything like it is opening the door to darkness. There is no purity there. It is not natural. It is not normal. It disgusts me to the core of my being. It blurs the lines. Blurred lines mean no boundaries. How young is the person you are watching on that porn? You don’t know. You have no idea what they have experienced. The watchers are not only supporting possible crimes against underage individuals, they are bringing a certain level of dirtiness into their life. They are bringing that into their marriage. A marriage that is supposed to be between 2 people. Two people that love an honor each other in every aspect of their intimate relationship. 

So what if two people want this in their relationship. What if a married couple needs this in their relationship. What if there is past history that makes porn somehow integrated. I still disagree. I disagree because an abused wounded person does not know, often times, what is okay and what is not okay. In all of the abuse, rape, molestations, torture, trafficking, and mutilations that go on in this world, we should be able to count on one thing. That our bed with our spouse is a place of safety, security, purity, and love. You are not loving if you are choking. You are not loving if you are tying up. You are not loving if you are hurting. That may be all your partner knows because of past abuse. Teach that partner it doesnt have to stay that way. 

I find anyone that looks at online, movie, etc, porn and explicit sex, nauseating. The man that molested me found great pleasure in his nude magazines. Looking back on his pleasure and then sitting me in his lap nauseates me. Do I think all people that look at nude magazines are child molesters? No. But I would not want you in my life if you did watch it nor would I trust your intentions. Hey, call me biased, due to abuse, but I have no idea what your boundaries are and are not if porn is acceptable. Just the possibility of those in the porn being there by force should be enough that no one ever watches it again.   If you can look at someone on the tv like that, or in a magazine like that, then you can look at ME like that. I have had enough people look at me with evil intention and act on those lusts and immoral thoughts to last more than a lifetime. 

Attention attention: NO porn watchers wanted here in my space. 

I choose to view the human body as sacred. Others may have hundreds of reasons they will list on how and why S&M and porn is okay. I don’t need to hear the reasons. I’ve lived that life against my will. I don’t choose to have it in my life ever again. 

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37 thoughts on “Porn. Yes, I’m going there. 

    • It has for me. Ofcourse my opinion is just that. An opinion based on my experiences. I included men in this as being abused and in same situations as women because I was thinking of what you went through. I dont want to leave out what men have had done to them.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. You suffered greatly and that monster took much from you for his own gratification. You would expect someone to form strong opinions from that. I am glad you have found a loving relationship that nurtures you and helps you cope in life. I know from my own experience how important that loving relationship can be and how much help it can give. In my case I think it saved my life. My husband sure made my life worth living and brought light to a place inside me that was very dark. Be safe, be well, Hugs

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      • You and I have husbands that brought light into our darkness! Mine saved me too. I am very very happy for you! Thank you for always being so compassionate.
        We are very fortunate that after tragedy we found happiness! Abuse creates associations that can be bad. For me, obviously pornographic things are linked to evil doings so I hate it. Never written about it. I figured I’d get crucified for my opinion….but not yet!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. A year ago I was in a relationship that included S&M and bondage. I never knew if it was of my own will or I was seduced and pressured into it. We broke up a year ago and I have stayed away from men and all types of porn. I have asked God for forgiveness and taken him into my heart. I am happier now, be it alone. I will not let my body be used that way again. Sorry for your experiences.

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    • Ofcourse God will forgive you. You are a good person with a good heart and soul and I am guessing you were manipulated into that. I was in very abusive relationships and had no idea they were wrong because I was so tormented and confused after a lifetime of abuse. Sometimes we find ourselves in these situations. We wake up and say oh my gosh what am i in and how do i get out. And we get out hopefully and then we can see it for what it truly was and know we deserved so much better and that that kind of love is not the kind of love that we deserve.
      Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I too will never again be manipulated into that kind of relationship again. At one point in my life my boyfriend was quite sadistic. I thought, since the man who abused me told me that was what my life would be, that i was just fulfilling what my body was to be used for. It wasnt until i truly just woke up one day . I woke up out of the fog and changed directions. It was like i was just wandering lost letting anyone do anything and I made a conscious choice that that would never happen again. I had no self worth and I had no boundaries. I prayed that God would forgive me too. I felt, if anyone would understand, God would. He knew I was lost and knew when I was found. I was led to my husband who has always, every moment of our marriage, cherished and honored me and I him. It is the first time in my life I have ever experienced true love in that manner that did not involve using my body for someone else with no regard to me. I did not know anything else existed until my husband. My life changed the day we got together.
      Again, thank you for opening up about your past and your present and taking the time to read my blog and comment. I truly appreciate it.

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      • I am sorry you have had such a difficult life. My marriage I was emotionally abused, then I got in this relationship after my divorce. Then he took control of me for 18 years. I know longer knew what was right. I had a horrible marriage and then jumped into this relationship and it was perfectly normal at first. He slowly introduced me into that. Thanks for your comments and support.

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      • Oh I was extremely manipulated as well. I dated the perfect man and he slowly but surely changed. He was such a good manipulator I did not even know what hit me. I felt extreme shame for the past and it took time for me to release that shame and realize that all of that was instigated by him and I was just part of his web of manipulation.
        I’m sure getting out of a marriage to find ourself in a relationship that you think is one way and you realize it has changed, is just so hard to see how bad things are sometimes until you are away from it and then you look back and think wow, how did it get that bad! I didn’t feel I deserved anything better and I was numb, in a fog really.
        I think when you bring God into your heart you can feel at ease and at rest and forgiven and let go of those shameful moments because He can clear you of it. I m so sorry you had those experiences. That is a long time you had to go through that.

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  2. Hm, I can relate, both the childhood exposure to porn and the later S&M experiences. the worst was for a time believing that had become the only way I could enjoy sex was in combination with pain. It’s still a confusing, often shameful mess in my head.

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    • Oh I am so sorry you experienced it to. The abusers make it so confusing! Pleasure and pain get all mixed up and we have no idea what is right or wrong or how we are supposed to feel and then after feel ashamed of the confusion but let me tell you truly the shame is on them and the manipulation is on them. We are just innocent victims that got roped into their web. It is so hard I know. All of it is so hard. Thank you so much for sharing. Abuse just sucks on so many levels and really makes recovery layer upon layer upon layer. I think the more wisdom we get and the more we sort through, the closer we get to understanding what is what our body is supposed to be treated like. Wishing you well!

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      • I am so glad you shared your opinion, porn is such a no go area many are afraid to comment or open up about. I am grateful that you had the courage to speak out, it’s about time someone shared their opinion on this subject. We need to return back to the old fashion way of doing things and not allow society to distort our thinking, and trick us into this morally corrupt way of sex.Excellent post ❤

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      • I figured I would get a long of slander on this one because no one does speak of it and I figure with the amount of people that think it is okay I was stepping into sketchy territory. But I strongly believe this is the root of all evil. And like you said. We need to go back to the old ways in some instances. Thank you for your thoughts!

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  3. Beth I know you thought you would get some bad responses but I don’t think you will nor should you put up with them. Yes you did state your position forcefully. However you were offering your opinion and backing it up with your own history as its source. No one can argue that. You have a right to your opinion and you never asked anyone for theirs. This was your statement on your blog. Even if someone disagreed with your position,their polite and civilised responce would be to either say nothing or to comment understanding the horrible situation you went through and what the porn meant in that situation. Also that it is something you have to carry with you and can’t ever escape from. So no matter what someone else may feel about the subject the proper thing to do is offer support and love and sympathy for your experience. It would be wrong of anyone to try to argue with you on your feelings, they are your feelings and you paid the price for them. I just wanted you to be assured your viewers understand and wouldn’t give you static about something so personal and so upsetting to you. It just wouldn’t be right. Hugs

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  4. “When pornography is… normal, a whole population of men is primed to dehumanise women and to enjoy inflicting assault sexually… Pornography is the perfect preparation – motivator and instruction manual in one – for… sexual atrocities.” – Catharine MacKinnon, Ms.

    This is so, so true 😦

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  5. This is really true. I personally felt that porn makes mind sort of Dominant and violent.. You start enjoying the hurt of your partner. Along with that.. Porn makes you question your abilities and even make you kind of depressed.
    And yes.. Getting pleasure by Torturing someone is against the humanity.

    Liked by 1 person

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