Today, I am not okay.

I cannot express the depth of my sorrow 

except in poetry 

which is the only way I can get to those parts of me 

that no one can see 

but that hover, 

sometimes,

 hopelessly.

I can see the light through the shadows

I just can’t reach it.

The weight of my own mind overpowers me.

It isn’t the past.

It is the right here and right now.

I just can’t bear.

God?

Hope?

Sometimes 

If I am brutally honest

I feel 

utterly alone.

So I can’t end this on a positive note.

A sum up with a message of power.

I admit

I am not okay today.

A crack runs through the base of my tower..

Pieces of me,

Will cover you in a shower.

A rainfall 

of the brokenness 

of me.

For the shadows 

are too dark,

And the light 

I cannot reach.

24 thoughts on “Today, I am not okay.

  1. I feel you. After years of banging my head against a brick wall and my truth finally being accepted… most people say that it was not their fault and they have allowed me to be acknowledged and now I should just quantum leap into being normal. Get over it or i have had my fun. Nothing changes for them. I worked out I wasn’t mad years ago. Just tougher. Stronger… and I have more respect for our laws and those subject to them regardless of what they do. I will not give up. I will lift my feet. They broke me. I do not die. The destroyed me like legion sewing salt into fields. I live.
    We are exiled centimeters away from those too busy. My second wind comes. I breathe. Rhythm of the beat… we are in the healing ground. I wouldn’t want to be against us… and then I get the reality check…. WE ARE NOT 😃
    fire up. Shoot to thrill.

    Liked by 1 person

      • It’s not anything we would wish on anyone and only some of us know about it let alone get on our feet again. Most cultures don’t even have prayers for it…. because before all the lawyers and media druggies knew everything their traditions identified it as something never supposed to happen.

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  2. Awwwz Bethany my heart reaches for yours. Not being ok is OK. There are days when your mind is not at rest and you can’t find peace and that is alright. We all go through it sometimes, unlike you we don’t dare admit it. Hugs and Love! God bless you.

    Like

  3. We all have days when we are not okay even me. I’m not always upbeat. Just know you are not alone on those bad days. We all love you here and support you and want to encourage you on the bad days. Sending you my loving vibes and a huge ass hug!!

    Like

  4. Pingback: Boundless Challenge #7 – Confessions of a Reborn Girl

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