Two flowers bloomed today. Each one I planted 12 years ago. I dug the hole myself, watered it until it was established. Then I waited. Each spring. I waited for them to bloom. They didn’t. I didn’t give up on them. I didn’t dig them up and plant something else. I just left them, watered them, and waited. For twelve years. Today, they bloomed. I gasped. Outloud, gasped! Twelve years is a long time to wait for something to bloom.
I have waited 11 years for answers and resolutions to my health. I have waited 3 years for answers and resolutions to my daughter’s health. But I haven’t just sat back and done nothing. You cannot just pray, sit back, do nothing, and expect answers. You have to listen to where you are led, you have to act, you have to seek, you have to do everything you can, and then be patient. I have been patient. I have also sought out doctor’s around the world for my daughter and for me. I have also prayed for guidance. One thing I cannot be labeled is: impatient. I waited twelve years for my plants to bloom. I rejoiced when they did! I will keep waiting for answers for us and hope that our “bloom” will be restored health. I didn’t give up on my plants. I won’t give up on finding answers for my daughter. I keep getting frustrated with my own recovery process from sexual abuse. Thinking: oh my gosh how long is this going to last, keeping taking steps backwards! I think if I can be patient with a plant for TWELVE YEARS, I can practice that patience on myself as well. Those plants were nourished with manure, sunlight, well water, and me talking to them! I was not so nourished along the way. It may take longer than expected for me. There just is no set time limit on healing and recovery. I just need to keep being patient.