I melt into my husband
His warmth soothes my soul.
My body has always fit in his
Like a perfect mold.
I listen to his heart beat
As my own breathing slows
And think to myself, as I let out a sigh,
I wish he didn’t know.
I wish, for this moment, all my secrets had not been told.
I could be a different me.
No rapes, no molestations, no PTSD.
I could be the person
that I’d always wanted to be.
I want to lay here, with him, untouched by other men.
I wish he didn’t know.
I wish I could have just pretended
To be that girl God had intended.
But my husband still sees me as a pure being, untouched by society.
He wanted the truth and still, he loves me.
Past and present.
He cherishes me, I am frequently told.
But as I lay here,
My hand in his,
I wish, just for me, just for now, he didn’t know.

4 thoughts on “poetry

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