I can think of many things that focus solely on money and have no connection to the individuals that are hurt while they bring in their profits. I was recently introduced to one: Puppy mills. Don’t think for one moment these people care about their animals. They care about the money they will make selling them. I won’t even go into the thousands of animals euthanized while other “special” breeds are being mass produced. I will simply introduce you to Jillian who came directly from a puppy mill:
We don’t know what “special” breed Jillian is. We do know she came from a puppy mill with her two babies. She is 12 lbs. they were “surrendered” under what conditions I don’t even want to know. It is painfully obvious. The pads on her feet are like velvet because they have never run on the ground. She has a blank look because she had no idea what feeling love meant. She was bred for money and discarded like trash.
We went to look at Jillian,and after deciding that we just couldn’t bring her home, SHE decided she WAS coming home with us and jumped right in the car. So Jillian chose us as foster dog temporarily. Better than her remaining in a cage for a week waiting for adoption.
When we brought her home and introduced her to our back yard she ran like I have never seen a dog run in my life. She felt joy. Absolute joy for the first time. But then she became sad. Her little feet hurt and we researched on how to introduce her to life outside a puppy mill.
She is petrified of the crate and although it would make our lives much easier to have a moment to ourselves we cannot put her in it.
She had never been inside a house. The sounds of the dishwasher and the washing machine were very scary. And YET she walked down my wheelchair ramp, walked next to my scooter on a walk, and hasn’t met one person or animal she didn’t love, something that not even our own dogs did!
A woman abused her. Everytime she goes outside to pee she crawls back and rolls over as if the last time she peed she was beaten. How a human being can be so cruel. She only does that if my daughter and I take her out. She is much more at ease with men. I don’t know why I forget about women abusers. Because one has never abused me I suppose. But women can be as equally abusive as men. As Jillian has proven.
I know abuse. I know fear. My heart has been breaking for her since the day we brought her home. Watching her sniff the breeze and learn to walk in the grass has been an amazing experience. She has spent 99% of her days and nights on top of my daughter, my husband, or me. All she wants is love:
She doesn’t know how to play. We have put dog beds all over the house for her. We put sheets on all the furniture. She can go wherever she wants to feel safe. She played with a toy for 10 seconds last night then looked at me like, “what do I do now?”
Yesterday when I got home from bloodletting (long story) I got chills and so we brought her in the front yard to get her used to the grass:
But mostly she is just so starved for love. Now that she knows what it feels like she doesn’t want to be away from it for one moment. I checked in on her this morning and she was sleeping on my daughter’s HEAD. I have no clue how my daughter could breathe! 24/7 for the last 5 days has been all about Jillian. And it should be.
We may as well have a newborn infant. She requires round the clock attention. She doesn’t have an “energy” about her at all. It is as if her spirit has been crushed and her heart broken. We went in to looking at dogs with the intention of, yes, helping a shelter dog, but also having a dog help us to feel the joy and life of an animal in our house. This is not what we expected. She doesn’t have “life”. But she has love. She craves it. She is soaking it up because she has never felt it. And as the days go by her spirit is slowly being restored.
When I was younger I wanted to foster a child. Now I know my heart would not be cut out for it. Because I would want to take all the pain away. All of the abuse and hurt. I know first hand that the pain of abuse cannot be taken away. But just like little Jillian, love can soothe the wounds. We are all soothing her the best we can.
We have no idea if Jillian will stay with us. She was just brought home as a foster dog. I will try to look at it like I’ve looked at most things. Sometimes we have ones come into our life temporarily for a reason. Sometimes they stay forever, sometimes only a day.
I have been typing this outside. Jillian has made it nearly impossible because she insists I pet her every 2 seconds. So my 10 minute typing has taken well over an hour. But how can this face be resisted.
The kind of person that hurts the innocent, those who cannot protect themselves will never stop shocking me. It will never stop rocking me to my core. I can only wish the rest of the world felt this way and made it one of their life purposes to right wrongs, save the wounded, seek justice, give love to those who have been through trauma, and protect innocent victims. Even all the little Jillians of the world. Every life matters!