After a very hard night last night I kept telling myself, “DON’T CRY.” I just didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to feel the despondency and the defeat that tears often bring me.
But last night I was given a gift of listening tears. The owl came to visit and sat outside my window. It was actually the baby that was crying for food, but I went out to listen to her and I cried at the sound because I did not feel alone.
Many will tell you, where there is God in your life you will never feel alone. Sometimes, I still feel alone. But I do also believe that God will send you what you may need to help you feel NOT alone. He sent the owl.
This morning when I woke up I wrote a blog about my brother and how deeply he hurt me.
I once again heard the owl. It is 3 in the afternoon. I thought, “Why are you guys awake out there?” So I took my camera. My actual camera that my husband bought us years ago, put some batteries in it, and ventured out into my back yard.
I found the mother owl. I walked right up to her. She was asleep. Her baby was in the tree right next to her crying for food. But she was napping in the tree. I felt that I needed to thank her for her presence. I needed her to know that her being there made me feel like I was not alone. I spoke to her. I thanked her. She opened her eyes. She looked at me in a way that made me feel understood. She looked at me for as long as my legs could stand there and just when my legs gave out, she closed her eyes again. I cried to her not out of despondency but as I cried to God for giving me the gift of her. The gift of presence is incomparable.
I talk to owls. I thank them as gifts from God. All creations, all the animals, bring gifts of joy to me. I feel blessed. If an owl can bring me joy in a moment that I feel ultimate isolation and betrayal and loneliness, then I consider that a gift from God. Let me show you some pictures I took of her. I took these pictures maybe a foot from her. I was right underneath her. Like I said, a real blessing.
I felt so much compassion from her. Sometimes it takes an owl to renew your will to live.
Thank you God for reminding me that He can bring us faith and hope in many forms.