My quest today to see the old/good memories

Today I visited my first family home aka with my husband and daughter.


I stood out by the road and took a picture. It was a triplex I think you call it because there were three townhouses connected. We had this small patch of grass since we had an end unit. I planted this azalea and I was so happy that 18 years later it is still here. 


I loved our little patch of grass. Every day my 2 year old and I would sit out in the grass. Every day. We played hopscotch on the sidewalk. I drove up and was just so happy to see that patch of grass still there. And my azalea still growing. 

After I drove back home I found a picture of our sweet Molly that lounged with me in that patch of grass.


After admiring and remembering all of the picnics we had in our little grass patch, I walked up to the front wall. When my daughter was 2 years old she fingerprinted. She put her hand prints on the wall and a foot print too. These were organic finger paints. I loved her little handprints on that wall. When she was 7 we moved out of this house and onto the acre that we bought. When we sold this place we tried to get the organic finger prints off but NOTHING took it off. So, I hoped. I don’t know why but I hoped after all this time her hand prints were still there. I walked up to the wall. 


There were two faint handprints and one foot print. I put my hand on it and started to cry. I cried a long time in that parking lot just remembering when she was healthy and well and all of the sweet memories. 

Across from this townhouse was the park. I mean right across. 


This is me pulling out of the house and right beyond the stop sign is the park. 

Every day we went to the park. There were acres and acres of woods and waterfalls and little lakes. I took these pictures today of the fields and trees and woods. 

The park was a special place because it was the place where my husband and I found each other in pure destiny form. I walked up these very steps!I got out of my car today just to take a picture of these steps that I walked up and waited for him, not knowing he would even be coming. 


Then I took some more pictures of the place we spent hours every day with our litle girl Every morning we got up, ate breakfast, and walked in the park. Back then there was rarely anyone there. It was like our own sanctuary. 

Then I looked back at the pictures from when my daughter was younger and we used to take our puppy Molly. It is nice, comforting, to see that sometimes, things don’t change.


We always made the best of where we were and what we had. We didn’t have but a tiny patch of grass but we loved it. And right across the road to have fields of flowers and woods and paths. Nature. I love that this was my daughter’s start.

We do have an acre now, but we aren’t next to a park and areas to roam. YET, there is a prairie only a road away. Today, while out on my journey, I drove out to the prairie. 

I drove there for many reasons. My daughter grew up there too. Our house was less than a mile from the prairie and we visited daily. She drew in the sand, she skipped down the road, we walked Molly and Jessy there in the evenings. My best friend at the time lived through the prairie and onto the other side. 

After I was attacked, I would drive to the prairie and sit. I would find great peace there. There is a wind that always blows across this prairie. A few weeks after that attack I sat on the prairie for hours and finally felt washed away of some of the sin. Sitting on the side of the dirt road that goes through the middle of the prairie gives me comfort. I can let go of everything. I have not been to the prairie in 11 years. After I couldn’t drive anymore, I stopped going..My friend took back her gate opener to the prairie. But today I was searching for memories. The good ones. A very kind man saw me sitting at the entrance and let me through. 


The road down the middle that we skipped down. 


The prairie that I galloped a horse through with my best friend. And the place where my daughter learned to ride horses too. I remember galloping through this field like it was yesterday. 

I sat there for almost 2 hours and watched the sun go down. I wanted to stay until the sun was completely behind the trees. So I sat. I smelled and felt the wind. See. Here I am!


I do believe that is wayyy to close up for my taste, but hey, it’s me. 

Here is the sunset that I watched and want to share with you.



AND they posted completly out of order! Well I tried. But the order isn’t really important. Imagine riding a horse through this prairie as the gorgeous open sky is above you and the sun is setting behind the trees. 

I almost drove back to my old friend’s house, changed my mind and drove back to the prairie. Coming out from the trees and onto the prairie was worth the changing of my mind. 


It was as if there was a true light at the end of a tunnel. The light was coming from the prairie. 


The open sky is a rarity with all the trees in our neighborhood. 

It isn’t really where you are. It is about making the best of what you have. Appreciating what you have. I was just as happy with this:

As I am with this!



Beauty truly is everywhere. You just have to be open to it, aware of it, find it,  and appreciate it. 

8 thoughts on “My quest today to see the old/good memories

    • I kind of can’t move now. I have no idea what came over me to think I could just get int he car and go for a drive to all of those places!!!!! I am so excited that I found what I was looking for. I went to bed wtih such a feeling of resolve. But ummmmm my body is yelling at me WHYYY WHHYYY did you do it????? But thank you. It was so fun for a few hours just to pretend I was normal and go out in the world.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I DID drive myself!!!!! I have only driven a few times and 5 miles tops. This was 10 miles. I was very proud of myself. I was determined to not let one man ruin my week so I had some adrenaline determination to seek out the good. When we sold that place we put acid then bleach. Couldnt get the hand prints off. So i figured they were still there and I was so happy they were!

      Liked by 1 person

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