Two trees.

Two trees were given to me by a monsterous man, before I new the extent of his monsterous ways, or was even aware he was a monster in the first place.

I planted the two trees and they have grown outside my window for 10 years. 2 years ago I contemplated cutting them down. I didn’t want a reminder of a monster right outside my window. But I looked at them, these two vibrant green trees. Why would I punish the trees for one bad man touching them? Why would I cut them down?  I mean, it wasn’t their fault that a horrid man gave them to me. They didn’t deserve to be chopped down because of one bad man.

I walked outside after the storms passed yesterday and took their picture. It took me 8 years to look at those trees and not see the man that gave them to me. Those trees are not who gave them to me. They are simply, trees. Beautiful, bright, trees. The rain drops glistened on them as I took the picture yesterday. They are just innocent trees, trying to reach up towards the sun, allowing raindrops to rest on their leaves. They are NOT the man who touched them once long ago.

I left those trees there as a reminder. I am not just what some bad man did to me. I am not going to punish myself and chop myself down because of what someone else chose to do to me. A monster is not worth destroying a beautiful tree. A monster is not worth destroying me. I have to see beyond the bad that was done to me, so I can recognize myself as a person who stood in the rain and looked toward the sun, knowing that someone else’s choice to hurt me, does not define me. I left those trees standing because their life represents mine. They stand for and represent and symbolize that good will prevail in the face of evil. They remind me that a monster cannot take away your beauty. They remind me to see that the good in myself, is stronger than the bad that happened to me.

Two trees were given to me by a monsterous man. He doesn’t define the trees. The trees are mine now. I appreciate their beauty and their ability to grow. I nolonger see the monster who touched them because he has no place here anymore. The trees symbolize the ability of me, to see past the bad, and embrace the good. The trees remind me that no abuse can define me or take away my joy of standing in the rain or feeling the sunshine on my face. The monsters will not prevail. We will.

16 thoughts on “Two trees.

  1. In my mind I see the tree as a metaphor for you. When you were small and unprotected you were touched by a bad man-monster. Then someone took you away to a place you could grow and become what nature wanted you to be. The trees were taken away from the monster and helped to be set in a secure place where they could access what they needed to strengthen and grow. The same for you, as you and your husband established your home and it was a place for you to heal with the help of the things and people you needed. The trees set down their roots, as you did yours. The trees grew and changed, both inside and out, as did you. You grew strong in ways many did not notice and they should have. Just as the trees weathered each storm, never breaking in the strong winds against them, so you also stood facing the storming of those who should have given you shelter but instead unleashed their fury and anger on you. You did not break, and just as the trees dug deeper into the nurturing soil you also dug deep into the love of your husband and daughter. As the trees reached with their spread branches into the light of each new day so also did you take joy in the good things in life, stretching your arms out to hold those who had been hurt and offering them comfort. As the leaves of the trees sparkle in the sun of the new day, so you also shine as you stand fully in the open unbowed and radiating strength and understanding. The trees in their time will give much joy and beauty in the world, just as you do now. You have not let the monster win, you have become so much more than any that followed the monster could imagine, as the trees will grow into something much bigger than they were. You confront the monsters for your self and others, fighting the fight for the many who cannot yet do it for themselves. Yes the trees are like you for when they get their growth from youth to adulthood they will be strong like yourself. The trees, like you will have people lean on them in times of need, sorrow, fear, and contemplation just as you have people that now lean on you for all that and more. The trees will do as you have done and give love and kindness to the many small creatures that share the same area and provide them food, shelter, and a home. Just as you spread joy and beauty in the world so the trees shall also. I think the trees are very lucky to have a role model like you to look to, for you are a powerful human with a loving spirit. Just as you gave so many wonderful good things to your daughter, so in time will the trees also give offspring to the next generation. Yes the world is much better place thanks to you and the trees.

    With warm hugs. Scottie

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  2. I have a friend who was sexually abused as a child. When she grew up and told her family, many of them turned on her, one being her aunt. Prior to telling her, her aunt had given her a plant. Once her aunt turned on her, she still kept the plant. She watered it daily, pruned it…nurtured it. Each time she cared for it, she thought of her aunt and it brought her peace. She used the plant as a surrogate…a way for her to share love and not anger, as that was not possible to do in person.

    This friend is a lot stronger than me, though…

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