Wheelchair walks

Can you see the two birds? They are high up in the cloud. They are called Kites. I love watching them fly more than any other bird. You can just get lost in them if you let yourself.

Here is one. So high up. 


The sky was exceptionally beautiful.  I love the contrast between the white and the dark. I love the shades of white, the shades of black, and how they all flow together, intermingle so effortlessly. I love how the sun shoots out rainbow colors through all of it. 


Then I looked down just in time to not miss these really precious teeny tiny flowers. 


I LOVE when I stop to look at one things and discover something else far more exquisite. The tiniest of butterflies. Probably the size of a dime. She would have gone unnoticed by the rest of the world. So small. But some of the most precious things some in the smallest of size. 



I saw a girl who stopped to talk to my husband about a track event they had both been in. And that unleashed my sadness. Sometimes the sadness just creeps up on me and it takes such a small thing to bring it to the surface. I became so sad that I could not run. I felt sad that no one was running in my name. You know all of those runners who run in so and so’s name. You know all of those groups created to support someone. Prayer groups, running groups, warrior groups. I became incredibly sad that no one thought I was worthy of any of those. I felt forgotten. Then I thought of all of the kids graduations lately and how their parents are so excited for their GPAS and their college scholarships. Just the things people find are so important.  My daughter’s GPA doesn’t  matter anymore. Her grades, her scholarship, everything parents boast about. Doesn’t matter. I just want her to be well. I want the fight that she and I are going through with our health to matter. I cried to my husband on our walk. But walks cannot end on a bad note. So we had to keep on going. And talk about other things. When I saw my magnolia blooming and my owl calling I knew we could go home. 

9 thoughts on “Wheelchair walks

  1. Hi, Bethany – I want to tell you a nature and granddaughter story! Here in NYC, we have had endless cool, cloudy, grey days. My kitchen overlooks the Brooklyn Bridge. This afternoon, I was preparing veggie snacks for my nearly 6 year old A, and SUN came flooding in! A came home from kindergarten and I said to her (after our hugs): “A, what is that golden warm stuff in my kitchen? “Sun! Zaza!” she laughed. And we hugged. I have been sharing nature (oh, yes, we have it even here, with all the traffic and buildings and police cars and news folks) since her first stroller walks, accompanied by my non-stop reporting to her of this bird, that flower, that happy dog walking along. Oh, and happy songs. I am sending you and your daughter and your husband and all your creatures happy songs. TS

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    • You sound just like me! I love your story! I have raised my daughter the same way. When she was little we would for for walks for hours looking at every bug and every leaf and every animal. I love that you are sharing the REAL parts of life with your granddaughter. How beautiful. I’m guessing, nomatter where you are on this earth, you can find the important things. Today i closed my eyes outside and I could have been anywhere where I felt the sun on my face and soaked it in.
      Can you see the stars where you are in the city?

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    • Ps I have been reading through your blog. 900 comments on one post. Wow! I don’t think my iq is high enough to contribute to some of the topics! I just kind of write from the heart. But it is fascinating reading all of the topics and comments on your blog!

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      • Dear Bethany: I (TS) don’t have a blog. I think you meant this reply for Lisa – I just found her blog and signed up. I have a project that will keep me pretty busy the next week or so, and then I am going to dig in to that. Looks like fun! Hi, Lisa. Best – TS

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      • I’m so confused! If I click on your name it takes me to slate star codex blog which it says under your name.
        I’m sorry. I didn’t know you did not have a blog.

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      • Oh, wow! That is truly wild. We could call it a lot of things but one of the nicest would probably be “Another WordPress Malfunction”! The best thing to do is just Giggle Together! Hugs – TS!

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      • When I click on your name This.Shaking it takes me straight to Slate Star Codex. Which is attached to a guy’s account named Alexander. Must be a wordpress glitch but I would for sure look into it.

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