Must find something good…

I have had 24 hours of relentless anxiety. It is full on PTSD but with an unknown trigger. And my left leg is in unbearable pain. Screaming out pain. Throw up pain. 

I forced myself to leave the house and find something beautiful. Something good. Something that I could focus on for just one minute other than all of this. 

The sky always takes me away. Just for a moment. I will take that moment. And then I came upon vibrant yellow flowers on the  side of the road and a black butterfly. Two black butterflies wrapped up in each other in the air and then landing on the flower then wrapped up in each other in the air then back on the flower. They had a beautiful dance going on. It made me want to dance with my husband. 

And another rock with a flower! I guess I am not the only one in the world who has a rock with a flower growing out of it. It was the palest of pink and so delicate. I actually got up and walked over to it to take the picture. I’m glad I put on shoes which I never do because I cannot walk in them. 

I found some good. I found some beauty. I’ve made it back to my front porch and I am forcing away tears from the pain in my leg.  Must focus on the good. Must focus on the good. 

I think the only thing I CAN do at this point is get back into my owl jammies and call it a day:

10 thoughts on “Must find something good…

  1. Oh Bethany. My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you were able to get out and find these beautiful things and that you came home and put on your cutie pjs and called it a day. I love you with all my heart. Carrying you in my thoughts always. Hugs!!!


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