The pooch(that stomach kind)

The dreaded stomach pooch. I can say that I have it because I gave birth but that would be a lie. My stomach was flat as a board the moment I gave birth. And 3 weeks later from nursing it was sunken in. 

We sit down and a pooch hangs over. My pooch has ranged from, I look like I looked when I was 5 months pregnant(even though I was not pregnant), to what it is now. I have always looked at it when sitting down and sighed. Deeply sighed at the pooch.


It rolls nicely over my pants while I am sitting down. If I lean over the pooch doubles. Interestingly, today, while standing, I noticed I didn’t really have a pooch at all. 


I took a mirror selfie. Heaven help us all!!!! I have never taken one of these in my life. Side note:yes my mirror is covered in pictures of my daughter/dog/and drawings my daughter did when she was 2/plus a pink sticky note I will never remove from my best friend who passed away of cancer.

I looked at my stomach and thought…hmm. It hasn’t looked like that in years. Proceeded to sit down, look at the roll, and sigh. 

Really??? This is absurd. The pooch means NOTHING! Whether it is only there while sitting or whether it exists why standing, I cannot believe the amount of time I have obsessed over my lower stomach. I have done hundreds of crunches int he past, starved myself, run, cycled and beat my body up on the efforts to have abs. I did at one point have a great set of abs. What I did to get them there was dangerous and a disservice to my body. I know there are women who know how to healthily get abs. I was not one of those women. 

Here I am at 45 years old with a muscle disease, a bone disease, lyme disease, and REALLY? I just groaned over the pooch. 

So here are a few thoughts on the subject:

-when you bend over or slump over, if you are a woman, there will always be a pooch. We are women. Our bodies were made this way.  Embrace it.

– when you are standing, there may or may not be a massive pooch or a flat lack of pooch, it truly does not matter. If you are overweight, obese, and have a large pooch, really, it does not define you. You are far more than what your stomach looks like! I promise you. I know I AM!

-what you see in magazines is a lie. They are airbrushed. Period. Don’t aspire to be airbrushed.

-if you, like me, run your hand over your pooch and grab it in anger, sigh, or groan in defeat, it is time to give your self a good serious talking to. We ALL have it. We are WOMEN. It is ok to love all of yourself, especially the parts that society has given false images that we can never attain.

-I recently lost over 20 lbs. I could VERY easily use these images to obsess over my weight, limit/control food, and slip back into old ways. I CANNOT FOCUS ON MY PHYSICAL SELF.

-our body has to carry us through life. Caring for it, feeding it healthy food, loving it, cherishing it, is imperative.

-I am far more concerned with my emotional, spiritual, and mental well being. My physical body is just an easy distraction that I choose not to engage in.

Body image has been a struggle throughout my life. Abuse planted that seed. Living in this society, having a career in waterskiing, having a family that focused on the external, all fed this unhealthy body image. It is not always easy to stay focused on matters of the heart when the heart is broken and the body is an easier thing to tear apart and control. I challenge you all to look away from the pooch. I promise you, it does not matter. It never has, and it never will.


While writing this a little bird flew up and took a bath. I would so much rather focus on him than my body. He was a great reminder. 

20 thoughts on “The pooch(that stomach kind)

      • I think you deserve credit. Most people either don’t have or lose the will to keep up their bodies as best they can. The bodies hurt or the mind and emotions interfere. Also you are willing to do the work needed to know what to eat and what to do. You have done great with the the problems you have. Congratulations. Hugs

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  1. Bethany, I love you. I think considering everything you’ve faced and dealt with this is something you have a right to “groan” over. I groan over mine pooch all the time. I love the pictures. To me you are perfect, you are beautiful, talented, smart, honest, open, and just fucking awesome. I love the bird in the birdbath. It is a nice reminder. Love you! Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You made me smile. We all have that darn pooooochhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
      I loved that little bird too. He took a very long bath and fluffed up in the tree right next to it. It’s crazy to me how I can be completely focused and boom a bird and then the bird is all that matters. Thank heavens for nature!

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      • I’m glad to hear that. I know we all do. I’m working on getting rid of mine. With all the walking I do at work I wouldn’t be surprised if it just melted away. Lol. Well maybe not. Yeah it is. Nature is a wonderful thing. I love nature. I just love it. Yes thank Heavens for nature.

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  2. I can remember when my daughter was about 4, and she looked at my tummy and asked “is there a baby in there?” and I said “no, darling, it’s just fat” (don’t you just love their unembarrassed inquisitiveness?). Now I’m in my 50’s I’ve given up worrying about what my body looks like or weighs, and my sole aim with exercise and healthy diet – when I can stick at it – is making myself feel mentally and physically better.

    You are so right, there are better things to find joy in than body shape or weight.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I sent a long reply but I don’t notice it in my comment section. I wonder if I sent it to the wrong person! Arghhhhhh!!!!
      Well this is just a respect ifyou did get it.
      Children and their comments get me every time. My daughter had some hum-dinger comments when she was 3-4 years old. It is all in innocence but doesn’t make it any easier especially if it is towards a stranger.
      I think your goal is perfect. I would love to be able to do those things. I think I would feel so much better being able to exercise.
      The bird really was much more peaceful to look at than my stomach!

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  3. Rightly said! Having a pooch is soooo annoying so i started working out two years ago which really helped. Now I’m aiming to have abs 🙂
    But really looks don’t matter. I’m not exercising to look good in front of people, I’m only doing it for me….
    Wish me luck!

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    • Thank you. But…but… I did like those abs. Honestly, i was looking at my face today thinking, “you’re 45 years old and there aren’t THAT many wrinkles for all the shit you’ve been through” I have decided my new things is to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I am pretty, I am ok just the way I am. I am not just the way I look but the way I DO look is just fine. I am ok with me. It is harder to do than I thought!

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