AAAH Dr. Melk #SoCs

This writing is part of stream of consciousness Saturday. The idea is that you don’t plan and you don’t edit and you just write. I saw the word to use “aaaah” and immediately thought of the butterfly that I took a picture of today. https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-117/

I sat down to write about the aaaah of the butterfly and all that has popped into my head is “aaah MELK.” If you have ever watched Seinfeld, you have seen Jerry say with anger, and contempt “Newman.” That very way he says “Newman” keeps coming into my stream of consciousness for Dr. Melk. So in being true to my stream of consciousness I am going to write about AAAH MELK. The butterfly will need another post of her own. She deserves that. 
A little over 3 years ago my daughter had a pediatrician who we really liked. She had been seeing her for years. Everything was going perfectly as pediatricians go, until my daughter got sick. Then she got sicker. And then sicker. The pediatrician said that there was nothing wrong with her. I said what were apparently the most despised and insulting words ever to be spoken to a pediatrician, “You’re wrong.” To which I got a certified letter in the mail stating that we had been removed from the practice. It was THAT SIMPLE. A week from that date we had an appointment with a specialist. I was hoping we could make it until that appointment. We couldn’t. My daughter was taken to the emergency room and hospitalized for 4 days. The hospital knew we had an appointment with a specialist on day 5 and so they released my daughter to go to the appointment. 

If you have ever been in the hospital for 4 days with your child you know the haze that has dropped over everything. We hadn’t eaten. We hadn’t slept. We had that sick feeling in our stomach for our daughter rooted in fear. We were in every way shape and form fried. Yet, we got up at 6 am, and were at the appointment at 8. My husband carried my daughter in to the appointment. She was unable to walk. When we were called back, my husband carried her back to the room. I was in my motorized scooter. We waited. Then we waited some more. 

Finally, in came Dr. Melk. We exchanged pleasantries because he was one of my specialists, so we knew each other. He pulled up some images on a screen. Stated why we were there to clarify. Confirmed that he had seen my husband carry my daughter in and then back to the room. 

Then he informed us that he would not be seeing us. 

Sleep deprived and feeling as near to fainting as possible his words did not compute. At which point I asked him, “what?” 

He told us in THE most arrogant egotistical I AM GOD way, that he had learned of us getting “kicked out” of the pediatrician’s office. (I was actually never kicked out of anywhere. I left her office not knowing what would befall us until the letter).He went on to say that we lived in a small town. His allegiance was to the pediatrician. He said we would find it hard to find a doctor that would see us now. I asked him if he knew we had just come from the hospital. He said yes. I asked him why, if he was not going to see us, did he not just call us on the phone. We were permitted to leave the hospital JUST TO SEE HIM. He thought it was best if he told us in person. I looked at my daughter. Pale, weak, unable to stand. I looked at Dr. Melk. I said, “Can we leave?” He said no one was keeping us there. I asked if we were getting charged. Nope. I had to ask someone, anyone to open the door for me so I could zip out in my scooter. My husband carried our daughter out and to the car. That man, no he doesn’t deserve that title, that individual, allowed us to leave a hospital, drive our sick child all the way there, just to tell us he woudnl’t actually see us. What kind of animal, no I can’t say that because I love animals, what kind of individual does something like that? He enjoyed what he did. He loved every minute of it. 

We sat in the car. What was there to say. What was there to do. I wanted to scream louder and harder than I had ever wanted to in my life. I wanted to sob. I couldn’t do any of these things. My gravely ill daughter was sitting in the back seat of the car having no idea what had just happened, knowing we were about to go home with no answers, and that we were all too exhausted to shed one tear over it. 

AAAH Dr. Melk. AAAH Dr. Melk. In the last 3 years I have thought of that man with utter disgust. With great disdain. I have thought of him with a hatred that goes far beyond any feelings I’ve ever had over anyone who has hurt me. He purposely purposefully intentionally inflicted emotional harm on my daughter. Isn’t there a law against that. Maybe it is just a civil law. If I won the lottery tomorrow, after saving everyone that I know needs help, sending my daughter to the best clinics available, I would sue Dr. Melk. I would just love to wipe that smug look off of his face. I can still see it. Arm so easily draped over the chair, leg so casually crossed, leaning back just a tad, with that smile look on his face. He smiled as he told two parents, broken down from their daughter’s illness, and one child, that none of us mattered. He smiled at our weary, weak, fragile, desperate for answers family, and leaned back in his chair. 

We did get a diagnosis for my daughter. I faxed a letter to the pediatrician to her know if she ever ran across these symptoms again, THIS is the diagnosis. I didn’t write the letter to prove that she was wrong. Wrong to kick us out when I questioned her. Wrong to send a letter in the mail. I wrote the letter so that she wouldn’t make the same mistake on another child. I wrote the letter to educate her. 

I didn’t write a letter to Dr. Melk. 

This has been the longest, most painful, tragic, heartbreaking 3 years of my life, that my daughter has been ill. It all began with Dr. Melk.

 I wish I could forget him. 

I wish I could just put him in God’s hands and know he would be dealt with accordingly. But he still pops up in my mind like tonight and with that smug face trapped in my memory comes the pain that my daughter was put through that day. Hate is not good. It is not healthy. I know this. I don’t hate all the time. Just on nights like tonight when his face pops into my mind. Hopefully after I write this it will fall back into the deep recesses of my brain and stay there another 6 months. 

If only I could put him in God’s hands and just let him go. 

 AAAH, but Dr. Melk, I think God’s hands are not where you will be held. Just a hunch. 

28 thoughts on “AAAH Dr. Melk #SoCs

  1. When I hear about so-called civilized people treating others like this, I am beyond horrified. Honestly, how he acted was Satanic.

    A drug manufacturer here in Canada showed great evil too. They slowed down production of drugs because our government wouldn’t pay them as much as they wanted. My husband couldn’t get the best antibiotic he needed. My mom needed a vitamin B12 shot and I had to go all over town to find some.

    I am constantly surprised by evil deeds. I almost feel assaulted by those people whose hearts are like dead stones. Still, I hope one day you can forgive, for your sake, not his.

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    • Hoping to let him go. Hoping he just leaves my mind forever. I wrote about him in hopes of releasing his hold on my memory. There is no purpose for him in my life. He is a very bad man that my brain has no room for. I choose good and pure and Godly not him who is the opposite.
      We are running into the same with meds. I went to the emergency physician last sunday. The insurance still will not approve pain patches for my muscles.
      That b12 shot you mentioned. We had to get it compounded and it cost an absolute fortune because insurance didn’t cover it. And we waited six months of appeals for my daughter to get a medication that she desperately needs that insurance says is not necessary. We would pay out of pocket but it costs four thousand dollars for a week supply and she may need six rounds.
      So I totally get the evil that is upon us, around us, coming for us, trying to break us down and break our faith. I really hope your family gets what they need medicine wise.
      Thanks for your comment, always, I appreciate you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This happened a few years ago. I think the government gave in as there is no trouble getting medicine now.

    Wow. I am sorry about your insurance company and slso about how much drugs cost. It seems no one can do anything about the high drug costs. We are fortunate in Canada. We only have to pay so much and then the government pays.

    I remember when Americans felt sorry for 3rd world nations where people died for lack of medicine. The U.S. has become like them.

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    • I worked in Canada for a summer when I was 17 and got injured and all of my medical care was free. And everyone was so kind to me. That was almost 30 years ago and I still remember it.
      I’m so glad you got the medicine, or they did. Finally.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry, I commented on the reblog. I hope your daughter has recovered. I hope that doctor finds it hard to sleep at night. Yo put professional allegiance above a child’s life is unconscionable. Thanks for sharing this as part of SoCS.

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  4. This breaks my heart. I’m so sorry. I wish I knew where he was I would do a drive-by for real. I wish I could say that there are not doctors like Dr. Melk, but there are. God and Karma will get him back for what he did to you. I promise you that. They always do. Not in the moment they hurt you, but they will get what they got coming to them because what’s goes around comes around. I love you and hugs!! I’m so proud of you!!

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    • It really is. I have heard similar before about egos and judgment but not quite like this, probably because it happened to us and wasn’t just somethign I heard and it affected my sick child so it was doubly upsetting. I’ve been treated poorly before but when it comes to a child it is just so different.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. There are so many evil and uncaring doctors out there. A doctor’s allegiance is supposed to be with helping the sick who walk through his door. But most of these POSs are pathological. That’s been my experience for the most part.

    That pediatrician is a POS too, just as bad in my opinion. Sorry this happened to you and your family. It should be easier for us as patients to report these egotistical a-holes and have them actually be punished for what they did.

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      • I had something similar happen to me as well by a GP. Had his staff break the news to me when I went in for a back injury.

        He then later had a letter sent to my home explaining vaguely his reason was something like our ideas of med. care don’t coincide.

        I think it was because I refused a particular test but of course I can’t be sure because he was too much of a coward to tell me his reason.

        I can’t stand doctors.

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      • I can’t stand them either. 99percent. I’ve had them my whole life. And 99 percent should not be practicing medicine. I have 2. One is an ER doc that saved my daughter. I trust him. One is my lyme doctor. I trust her. And that is it. Which is wrong and sad because I need endocrine//cardio/GI/neuro/ docs but have none.
        I’m so sorry you had that experience with the back surgery

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh gosh, not back surgery. You are prompting me so much. I want to get into more detail but it is a good topic for a post.

        I just went to that doc because I’d been going to that office forever. I had no insurance but was looking for answers and help.

        I was dealing with a lot of pain and without insurance at that point, I was looking down familiar roads.

        Thankfully I didn’t need surgery though. I finally got insured (through public assistance) and got physical therapy, which made a huge difference.

        I did see a neurosurgeon though, who I really liked. He seemed compassionate, but once the PT had helped I didn’t need him anymore.

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      • I swear by it. A ‘friend’ of mine insisted I would need surgery but I knew she was wrong. I was kind of surprised to learn too that most neuro-surgeons don’t actually jump right to surgery when it comes to the spine.

        I had a herniated disc and it caused sciatica so the pain was actually in my leg not even my back, but it was the worst pain I’d ever felt so far in my life. But I know I don’t have to tell you about pain.

        Liked by 1 person

      • So yeah, there are some good ones and caring ones out there. They are unfortunately, few and far between.

        I’m sorry that this has effected you in such a way that you are not able to get the help you need either.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. What an awful experience. I agree that we are supposed to let things go, but you are only human and I think I would have a difficult time letting go of someone who treated my daughter that way. I think your feelings are quite valid.

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