A visit with my owl

The last few days have been exceptionally hard for me. My legs stopped working. They occasionally do this. They feel disconnected from my body and I cannot lift them. If I can move them they have stabbing extreme pain. I knew it was coming and so  I took a quick shower. I thought the warm water would help. It caused extreme cramping. I actually started yelling at my leg to “be strong! Stop this! Come on! Buck up! Work already!!!!” Yelling at my leg did not work. As soon as I got out of the shower I could not lift my leg to even get dressed so my husband helped me.  For 14 hours I could not move them. I tried about 5 hours in  because I had to pee and the extreme pain caused screaming in agony. So I had to pee in a cup. Yep. The truth of living with a disease is not always pretty! But we do what we have to do. I was unable to move after I fell on the futon that is in my room. I had to sleep there for 2 days. My bed is to high to get in and out of. 

That, right there, in and of itself, petrified me. It scaresd me to death. The vulnerability. The helplessness. The pain an agony. The, what will happen next. It is very very scary. My shoulder is so fragile that I cannot be lifted by my arms because my shoulder would just pop right out. I can’t use my arms to push up. It is just a lose lose. I cannot get into my scooter because then I cannot get out of my scooter. 

So that has been my last few days. 

I got up today and my legs started working again. The pain is there but it is less. I got in my scooter this evening determined to go out and find something good. I found a feather. It was the fluffy undercoat feather of an owl. It was softer than cotton. Then I found another feather that had some owl markings on the end. As I went around the block another, then another then another, and then, my owl. There she was. In all of her glory. She did not speak to me. I heard two owls hooting in the distance. She just looked at me. Her big eyes seem smaller now that she is so big. She was so beautiful. I told her about my last few bad days. I mean this owl has been listening to me for going on 6 months now. She just looked into my eyes and listened. I took a few pictures of her but this time I really didn’t want to photograph. I wanted to just be. So I sat in her presence and just let us be together. I said to her with a flick of my hand, ” Alright I know you want to hung just go on.” Sure enough she flew away. 

After I left her I turned around and there was a rainbow in the sky. I took a quick picture and my ipad died. Battery dead. When I came home and charged it I looked at the pictures. The owl had these sparkling colors all around her. She was way above my head so she is not so clear. But the colors. I have never seen that before. Purple, green pink blue. Is this just a camera thing? Whatever it was it was really spectacular to look at. Maybe just something the camera did. And the rainbow. There was not a cloud in the sky. No rain. Just a rainbow. A beautiful rainbow. 

Something good was found.

34 thoughts on “A visit with my owl

  1. I’ve never seen an owl. I would like to see one someday. My husband’s brother-in-law saw one by where they live. You saw a rainbow too. You did have bad days, but then good day came back. Sorry for the pain. I hope it doesn’t stay for too long.

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    • Today is much better. You are so sweet to always read my blog with so many followers you have. Thank you! My legs will go through periods of extremes and then be ok. I think today will be a good day. The owl is just the best thing I have experienced in a long time.

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    • They go through periods of extreme pain and weakness and then bounce back. We don’t know what makes it better or worse. Not moving them at all for days helps. Today they are much better. Thank you. I just adore my sweet owl. I’m happy she still remembers me even though the times when I see her now are longer and longer periods

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      • I watched the owl when she was just a tiny thing. Her brother had nothing to do with me. She on the other hand spent about 2 hours a day in the tree above my head or in my yard hanging out with me. I soon discovered one of her legs was injured. It took about 2 months to heal. She allowed me to walk right up to her within arms reach and she would fly over my head on walks and when I sat out on my deck. I have tons of videos on my youtube channel if you look up my name, and on my blog here. I saw her every day for 5 months. Then in the last month it has been ever other day, every few days. Then not for a week. She was smaller than her brother. When they were together he would always turn his back to me and she would look at me. I watched the mother feed them. I watched them hunt. I watched them eat various things. Her leg finally healed and now she is much bigger than her brother. Seeing her yesterday was a real joy because i wondered if she would fly away but she didn’t. I was in my scooter and I went right up to her. No one else can. Others try and she flies away. I did not “tame” her. I would never do that to a wild animal. She just chose to fly near me. She had an injured right leg, i have injured left. Hers got better mine did not. I have days when my legs don’t work at all and days when they are almost ok, left leg never will be unless some miracle or cure happens. Anyway. That is the owl story

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      • A beautiful share indeed. It is heartwarming to see how you bonded with the lil owl. I am sad to hear your leg did not get better. I understand pain and wish you less painful days and everyday for legs to work. Garfield hugs🤗🤗

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  2. I can not begin to imagine what your legs must feel like or the triggers that they set off when you “lock up” like that. It must be terrifying. I would think that it would feel like your body betraying you or being abused again. That frozen panic. I am so terribly sorry you are going through this. I am glad you are feeling better today. And I”m glad your owl was there to help you along and listen. Animals are just the best listeners, aren’t they? Take care of yourself. Will be thinking about you. ❤

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  3. Oh, Bethany – I found your story of pain and disability during recent days very scary indeed. It is wonderful that you were able to spend time with your owl and found a beautiful rainbow. I hope you have many good days ahead. Hugs.

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  4. I’m glad God sent a rainbow and your owl to comfort you. I’m so sorry about your legs, and glad you got better. Living with a chronic illness is exhausting and can be confusing since we don’t always know what brought about a flare-up. May God’s arms encircle you.

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