Dark poetry recounting a traumatic event. 

*photo of me. Copyright protected as are all my photos on this blog. May not be used without permission.

He’ll let me out.

The gold ring on my finger says he will.

He’ll let me out.

Please God make him let me out.

I run my thumb over my ring. 

I spin it round and round.

My eyes dart from him

To the door

To the ground.

I’m bare.

LET ME OUT!

His words come and go.

They are pounding in my head,

Then fade to a dull roar.

I watch his mouth moving

As I spin and twist my ring. 

I can no longer feel my legs.

He commands.

I cannot move.

I think my body is dead,

But I will it to stand.

Let me out, I scream in my head.

I cannot plan my escape.

There is only one door, 

And my feet are glued to the floor. 

He pulls me close.

I smell the beer on his breath.

I watch his lips whisper his request.

I reply with the tiniest squeak,

“Let me out.”

Then I repeat,

I repeat,

I repeat,

And this time I even say please. 

“Please just let me out.”

1, 2, 3, times, twenty. 

My head over his shoulder.

His hands upon me.

I just repeat

Quiet as a mouse

“Please let me out.”

He was going to kill me. 

My left eye saw the gun.

My right eye his fingers gripping me.

One last plea…

Then he screamed,

“GO! Get OUT!”

My hand reached the door.

How my legs made it there I will never know.

My back felt his ghost.

My ring 

On the gold handle knob 

Made a clink.

I heard the sound 

As clear as I heard my eyes blink. 

I believe I floated 

To the door of my car

It made this loud creak as it opened.

Panic rose,

As I turned my head 

To look back,

In slow motion. 

And heard myself finally breathe.

He was nowhere to be seen.

I was free.

There was no doubt. 

I looked at my ring on the steering wheel.

He’d let me out. 

He’d let me out. 

25 thoughts on “Dark poetry recounting a traumatic event. 

  1. Dear Bethany..are you ok? What is happening? Phone not working here but I will find a way to call you tomorrow if you need. I also can’t use the other email here so just reply here if you want me to call. Frank says. ..be frank. Love TS

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    • Yes, i just had a flashback is all and I wanted to write about it and get it out of my head. I’m fine.
      You are a kind sweet person to worry.
      Have a nice time with your sweet grand babies and don’t you worry about me ok? Give frank a hug for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh I am so GLAD to hear this#!! Years ago I spent a few days in a little cottage on Sanibel. A small alligator sunned. himself (herself?) every day next to my cottage and you can be very sure I spoke extremely respectfully each day! And oh the beautiful things I saw 🐦🐤🐢each day.And sunrise and sunset.
        Everyone is fast ssleep here and soon me too. Good night. TS

        Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! The things that come to me in the middle of the night! I don’t think i could ever sleep if i didn’t write.
      That day happened 12 years ago and I’m still processing it

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    • It was!!! I thought all abuse was behind me but then half way into my marriage that happened with my best friend’s husband. It was truly terrifying. I needed to write about it. It still bothers me

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      • She blamed me. Told me to forgive him and get over it. He admitted to all of it and she said he was just a sad man that wanted the attention of a woman. Her sister was worse and blamed the way I looked. So the entire situation sucked. I lost a lot that year because I spent all of my time with her and her sister at their farm and my daughter grew up there

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      • Thank you!!!! They added to the suck factor 10 fold. I actually hate them equally. I know, they say don’t hate, let it go….some days I do hate. Perhaps one day I will become an enlightened being who only has love in her heart. But that is not right now!

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      • I think it’s more therapeutic and healthier to admit (to yourself) how you really feel anyway. It’s easy to make that tiny hop from enraged to hate. I’ve been feeling that toward my mother lately.

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  2. Beautiful piece. I feel the power and I feel a chill in this one. I love it. I really do. This is deep, but it’s beautiful. You’re even more beautiful to me now. I just love you. I love the picture. It’s real, raw, and fresh. It’s just fucking real. I love it. I really do.

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    • I had my husband take the picture and then I altered it to look how I wanted it to look to match what I wanted to write. Had to write about this experience to let it go a little more. Still holding on to way to much hate for this man. Some things are harder to let go of than others

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      • That’s awesome. I’m so glad. Yes I totally agree. I’m finding some things are just harder to let go of, but once you do it frees you and you are no longer afraid and then God can move in and do what he needs to do. May God bless you as you continue this beautiful journey you’re on to healing and freedom because you deserve it.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad you wrote this out I hope it stays out of your head to give you some peace. I talked with my daughter’s therapist today. My daughter told her about my blog and about my new friend Bethany.

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