My brother was put up for adoption after he was born. He came into our lives when I was around 18. He found us. I adored him more than I had ever adored another male in my life.
I don’t think I have ever seen my nana, our grandmother, more happy than when she met him for the first time. She adored him as much as I did. I will never forget how his arms felt around me as if I had finally felt what I had been looking for and I didn’t even realize I had lost something!
One day I thought, I’m going to go and buy and write him a card for everything I/we misssed. So I wrote him cards and mailed them. They said “open on halloween” and ” open on valentines day” and “open on st patricks day.” I thought about every day I had missed with him for the 18 years he was with his adoptive family. Every day I sent him a card and he said he put them all in a drawer to open when the time came. I picked every holiday that society deems worthy of a card, and cards just because. I wanted him to feel loved.
It really isn’t hard to show someone an act of loving kindness. A small gesture can mean the world if given at the right time. A gentle word left to a vulnerable, me, today has gifted me with a moment of peace tonight.
My father was also put up for adoption. I ended up finding HIS biological family. THEY felt about me like I felt about my brother and I felt the same about them too. These families had been brought back together. One of my father’s biological cousins I felt an immediate connection to. Instead of sending cards to me like I did to my brother, he called me. Every week. Cousin Randy. We looked forward to those calls every single week for 10 years. I can still hear his voice in my head. He gave me such a gift because HE became a missing link I didn’t know I was missing until I found it in him He was the father figure I always wanted.
Sometimes we don’t even know something is missing until someone else fills it.
I know our story of adoptions are not like others. But in my case in particular I was filled with love like no other, that I carry with me.
I wonder if my brother ever opened up all of those cards…