I dislike blanket statements except one.
I dislike it when I hear people say “I hate police,” ” I hate gay people,” “I hate black people,” ” I hate the way Asian people drive.”
I strongly dislike blanket statements like that. There is no blanket. There are individuals. You cannot hate all police because you got a ticket for BREAKING THE LAW! You cannot hate a person who cuts you off while driving because they are “Asian.” I have seen bad individuals in most jobs. I have seen corruption of bad individuals of most jobs. I have seen bad individuals of a certain ethnicity. In my case most of the bad I have ever seen are elderly Caucasian men. But I don’t blanket all of them as bad. I do know that having PTSD makes them sometimes a trigger for me and I have to set boundaries because of what a few elderly white men did to me. I have set some boundaries with all men because I do not feel “safe” when I am around or in contact with men I do not know. Many men have hurt me in my lifetime from the age of 8 until 30 intermittently. So I am cautious. More cautious than normal. But I have boundary issues. I have even recently put boundaries up for women NOT JUST men. I am cautious to not let them in so easily and trust so easily. Keeping them in the yellow before the automatic green light I have given most of my life.
My best friend of 10 year’s husband sexually assaulted me and threatened my life and his 12 years ago. I knew him or 10 years!!! Other men was a chance encounter at a ski school. The man who molested me most of my childhood just happen to be the main man on the ski team I was on. An older man molested me on vacation while in Costa Rica. These are just to name a few who squashed my intuition and crushed my boundaries. It will take time to rebuild
My husband has been with the police force for our entire marriage. He is a hero. I cannot name the amount of individuals that he has helped, nurtured, held, loved, and saved. Boy oh boy do I hate blanket police statements. And knowing I am his wife people come to me and complain about every ticket and every individual that they felt was rude to them. In their descriptions I have had people 10 times as rude and discrimatory against me while I am in my wheelchair. I get it, there are jerks out there. As a wife, I worried every single night that he would be killed. I worried that someone who just chose to be a hater would targe him. An innocent, hardworking, good man. That is what haters do. They will target someone innocent. They will target a group of innocent because of a few people they didn’t like.
I’ve seen just as many drivers and texters of all ethnicity not paying attention while driving. Why target Asian? I don’t know but I hear it. I heard in a parking lot “UGH she’s probably Asian.” How dare that person. I hear a lot these days. I listen to conversation and I am hearing blanket statements that make me question the integrity of some of the human population. When I parked in a disabled spot someone said to me, ” you don’t look disabled.” I replied, ” you don’t look like a judgmental asshole but looks can be deceiving.” I then went on to scream all of my disabilities at the cost of my own health because I thought I was going to pass out and never actually went into the store I had driven to for my once a week drive. I usually say nothing. But this day it burst forth. My husband will tell me all the time I take it and take it and take it and then just explode. It’s true. What I take is rudeness and disregard and dismissal and discrimination. Until I snap. Too me 45 years to finally snap wtih my family. Anyway….
And how can someone say they “hate gay people.” Every single one in existance? But what if they were the Doctor who just gave you a new liver? What if they were the one who helped you fix a flat tire? What if that was your minister and you just didn’t know it? How does one person hate ALL gay people? But they do. I’ve met them and I have stayed as far away from them as possible.
How do you hate a group of individuals based on their job or their ethnicity? I am having trouble processing this and have for a few days now.
If I told you right now that when I was 18, I kissed a girl and I LOVED it! I didn’t just like it like the taylor swift song. I Loved it. That I have pondered what my life would have been like had I actually taken that further into a relationship? Would you hate me? Because I did. I kissed a girl and I absolutely loved it. So do you hate me now? Am I in the blanket statement? I mean I am married to a man and I am not bisexual but I had a “moment”. Or do you hate me because I am married to a police officer and you hate all cops? Because my cop has saved more lives and helped more people that most will do in their lifetime in one year, as have his coworkers, who are ALL nationalities.
So the one blanket statement that I do not dislike and that I use is this : I hate pedophiles. Every single one of them. I do not believe they can be rehabilitated. I do not believe they ever deserve a second chance. I believe they should all be prosecuted and spend the rest of their lives in jail. Now, is that like saying you hate all cops because you have heard of a handful of bad ones. No, they do not compare.
Because all pedophiles are bad. Every single one of them. You can’t hand pick a few and say oh but he’s good.
You go into a bank. There will be 5 people that are not good people. That does not make all bankers bad. But those 5 may be. They may be cheaters, beaters, thieves, who knows. You go into an insurance company. 3 of those people are adulters. Are all insurance company workers bad because there are 3 adulters. No but those 3 are bad. So all police are not bad because you had a run in that you disagreed with.
When I was younger I was taken down on a felony stop. I had to lay out on the concrete face down! By many cops. My car matched the description of a car who just robbed a bank. Did I hate cops after that? Ofcourse not. I mean, I married one, so…
Maybe not all of these individuals you hate are “bad” but have made poor choices. Some people make poor choices. Some people get help for those poor choices. Some of those poor choices are a direct result from sexual or domestic abuse or violence.
You may say, ” but a pedophile could have been abused himself.” He may have been. And for that part I feel badly for that child who went through that. But for the pedophile who has grown up and chosen to hurt others I have my only blanket statement. I hate pedophiles. I hate rapists. I hate sex offenders. All of them.
I watch people and the things they say, the blanket statements of groups of people. When what they should be saying is ” I don’t like this individual and what they have chosen to do.” Because in most cases, it is case by case. It is not their sexual preference, gender or job, they are just a straight up asshole. An entire group of people should not be persecuted over a few assholes. Well…unless they are rapists. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite. But those are my feelings on the subject.
One of my tags is #bluelivesmatter. But you will also see tags on my other posts. #frogslivesmatter and #snaillivesmatter. Because I LOVE the individual lives of EVERYONE. A butterfly, a worm, an African woman, an Irish man. I do not choose my love based on the exterior. Hey I hated this frog last week that exhausted me chasing that little bastard around for almost an hour to get him outside. But did that make me hate all tree frogs? Nope. Just that one little bugger.
Growing up and even now sometimes I feel like I do not matter. I did not matter enough to save from molesters and be protected and stood up for and validated. Lives matter. We each should fel like we matter….that is a huge reason why I don’t like blanket statements. It makes a person feel that because of -blank- they don’t matter. Well, you matter to me. Unless you are a sexual deviant/rapist/child molester. Then, well, you don’t matter to me.
*if you bash homosexuals or cops I will not approve your message because this is my blog and you can say what you want on yours but I will not approve them on mine.