Blanket statements

I dislike blanket statements except one. 

I dislike it when I hear people say “I hate police,” ” I hate gay people,” “I hate black people,” ” I hate the way Asian people drive.” 

I strongly dislike blanket statements like that. There is no blanket. There are individuals. You cannot hate all police because you got a ticket for BREAKING THE LAW!  You cannot hate a person who cuts you off while driving because they are “Asian.” I have seen bad individuals in most jobs. I have seen corruption of bad individuals of most jobs. I have seen bad individuals of a certain ethnicity. In my case most of the bad I have ever seen are elderly Caucasian men. But I don’t blanket all of them as bad. I do know that having PTSD makes them sometimes a trigger for me and I have to set boundaries because of what a few elderly white men did to me. I have set some boundaries with all men because I do not feel “safe” when I am around or in contact with men I do not know. Many men have hurt me in my lifetime from the age of 8 until 30 intermittently. So I am cautious. More cautious than normal. But I have boundary issues. I have even recently put boundaries up for women NOT JUST men. I am cautious to not let them in so easily and trust so easily. Keeping them in the yellow before the automatic green light I have given most of my life. 

My best friend of 10 year’s husband sexually assaulted me and threatened my life and his 12 years ago. I knew him or 10 years!!! Other men was a chance encounter at a ski school. The man who molested me most of my childhood just happen to be the main man on the ski team I was on. An older man molested me on vacation while in Costa Rica. These are just to name a few who squashed my intuition and crushed my boundaries. It will take time to rebuild 

My husband has been with the police force for our entire marriage. He is a hero. I cannot name the amount of individuals that he has helped, nurtured, held, loved, and saved. Boy oh boy do I hate blanket police statements. And knowing I am his wife people come to me and complain about every ticket and every individual that they felt was rude to them. In their descriptions I have had people 10 times as rude and discrimatory against me while I am in my wheelchair. I get it, there are jerks out there. As a wife, I worried every single night that he would be killed. I worried that someone who just chose to be a hater would targe him. An innocent, hardworking, good man. That is what haters do. They will target someone innocent. They will target a group of innocent because of a few people they didn’t like. 

I’ve seen just as many drivers and texters of all ethnicity not paying attention while driving. Why target Asian? I don’t know but I hear it. I heard in a parking lot “UGH she’s probably Asian.” How dare that person. I hear a lot these days. I listen to conversation and I am hearing blanket statements that make me question the integrity of some of the human population. When I parked in a disabled spot someone said to me, ” you don’t look disabled.” I replied, ” you don’t look like a judgmental asshole but looks can be deceiving.” I then went on to scream all of my disabilities at the cost of my own health because I thought I was going to pass out and never actually went into the store I had driven to for my once a week drive. I usually say nothing. But this day it burst forth. My husband will tell me all the time I take it and take it and take it and then just explode. It’s true. What I take is rudeness and disregard and dismissal and discrimination. Until I snap. Too me 45 years to finally snap wtih my family. Anyway….

And how can someone say they “hate gay people.” Every single one in existance? But what if they were the Doctor who just gave you a new liver? What if they were the one who helped you fix a flat tire? What if that was your minister and you just didn’t know it?  How does one person hate ALL gay people? But they do. I’ve met them and I have stayed as far away from them as possible. 

How do you hate a group of individuals based on their job or their ethnicity? I am having trouble processing this and have for a few days now. 

If I told you right now that when I was 18, I kissed a girl and I LOVED it! I didn’t just like it like the taylor swift song. I Loved it. That I have pondered what my life would have been like had I actually taken that further into a relationship? Would you hate me? Because I did. I kissed a girl and I absolutely loved it.  So do you hate me now? Am I in the blanket statement? I mean I am married to a man and I am not bisexual but I had a “moment”. Or do you hate me because I am married to a police officer and you hate all cops? Because my cop has saved more lives and helped more people that most will do in their lifetime in one year, as have his coworkers, who are ALL nationalities. 

So the one blanket statement that I do not dislike and that I use is this : I hate pedophiles. Every single one of them. I do not believe they can be rehabilitated. I do not believe they ever deserve a second chance. I believe they should all be prosecuted and spend the rest of their lives in jail. Now, is that like saying you hate all cops because you have heard of a handful of bad ones.  No, they do not compare. 

Because all pedophiles are bad. Every single one of them. You can’t hand pick a few  and say oh but he’s good. 

You go into a bank. There will be 5 people that are not good people. That does not make all bankers bad. But those 5 may be. They may be cheaters, beaters, thieves, who knows. You go into an insurance company. 3 of those people are adulters. Are all insurance company workers bad because there are 3 adulters.  No but those 3 are bad. So all police are not bad because you had a run in that you disagreed with. 

When I was younger I was taken down on a felony stop. I had to lay out on the concrete face down! By many cops. My car matched the description of a car who just robbed a bank. Did I hate cops after that? Ofcourse not. I mean, I married one, so…

Maybe not all of these individuals you hate are  “bad” but have made poor choices. Some people make poor choices. Some people get help for those poor choices. Some of those poor choices are a direct result from sexual or domestic abuse or violence. 

You may say, ” but a pedophile could have been abused himself.” He may have been. And for that part I feel badly for that child who went through that. But for the pedophile who has grown up and chosen to hurt others I have my only blanket statement. I hate pedophiles. I hate rapists. I hate sex offenders. All of them. 

I watch people and the things they say, the blanket statements of groups of people. When what they should be saying is ” I don’t like this individual and what  they have chosen to do.” Because in most cases, it is case by case. It is not their sexual preference, gender or job, they are just a straight up asshole. An entire group of people should not be persecuted over a few assholes.  Well…unless they are rapists. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite. But those are my feelings on the subject. 

One of my tags is #bluelivesmatter.  But you will also see tags on my other posts. #frogslivesmatter and #snaillivesmatter. Because I LOVE the individual lives of EVERYONE. A butterfly, a worm, an African woman, an Irish man. I do not choose my love based on the exterior. Hey I hated this frog last week that exhausted me chasing that little bastard around for almost an hour to get him outside. But did that make me hate all tree frogs? Nope. Just that one little bugger. 

Growing up and even now sometimes I feel like I do not matter. I did not matter enough to save from molesters and be protected and stood up for and validated. Lives matter. We each should fel like we matter….that is a huge reason why I don’t like blanket statements. It makes a person feel that because of -blank- they don’t matter. Well, you matter to me. Unless you are a sexual deviant/rapist/child molester. Then, well, you don’t matter to me. 

*if you bash homosexuals or cops I will not approve your message because this is my blog and you can say what you want on yours but I will not approve them on mine.

22 thoughts on “Blanket statements

  1. I 100% agree! Great post. πŸ™‚

    “Hate is baggage. Life is too short to be pissed off all the time. It’s just not worth it.” ~ Quote from the movie American History X (Really harsh movie about Racism, but ultimately the message is strong and great in the end) In case you never seen it. xD

    You may find this weird or even maybe harsh perhaps….I tend to sympathize with animals more so than humans. I would do anything for an animal given the chance. Not to say I won’t help a human, I do and will. But like I think because of the destruction and chaos human kind has created since like the beginning of time (Slaughter of races, religions, wars, conquering land etc) I may have become like kind of numb to it? That and humans are destructive by nature. I don’t care what anyone says, we have been committing atrocities since the beginning of our time, and no race or religion etc is innocent. Humans are awful. We are getting better perhaps, and we may get better. But humans still kinda suck in my books. Animals are innocent by nature, they hunt sure that’s survival, true survival. Sure there are some bad animals maybe, few in between and most are like cause a dog had an evil owner (human) but basically most things animals do is by nature and natural. Since they are innocent by nature for the most part and are not killing everything in it’s path including planet earth, and ruining everything it touches I tend to place animals just a bit higher than humans. Is that bad?

    I love humans, I am not saying I hate human kind. Lol Just sometimes we really suck, and some days it is hard for me to say if we deserve to survive. People say we are evolving, I am not so sure if we truly are. Even with advantages of things like Technology, we are ruining technology, just look at kids now adays. And I believe there are many things I know of and things we don’t hear about that are very scary going on with technology. Language another thing humans should take pride in. Language and writing is apart of language I think, it is another tool we use to communicate (Letters, people who don’t know sign language can use it to speak with the mute and the def. etc) and last year I heard some schools are taking hand writing out of their curricular. What’s next?

    Humans may be evolving into robots tbh. jk jk xD Maybe not, but I see computer chips being a possibility of being placed into our brains. Call me paranoid.

    Sorry rant over. But animals are win πŸ˜€ Humans are meh okay, we gotta a crap load of work to do if we want to survive, including less hate and more love. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have my entire life placed animals above humans. My husband and I were just speaking about our dog Jessy who we had for 14 I think it was years, maybe 14 1/2. It’s good I can’t remember that now. That means the pain has faced by a minuscule amount. He only loved. Jessy did. He was loyal. Loving. Compassionate. Knew, listened. Devoted. Never hurt me. Was there for me 24/7. Learned to be my seizure alert dog. Learned to open the oven for me. Only knew how to love unconditionally and I for him. Nothing will ever compare. It was like an angel was gifted to me for this brief time and then I get left with the shit of the humanity to look at with disdain at their judgment. Then came the owl. For 6 months. An OWL> and she stayed here for 6 months. I just heard her outside as the hurricane is coming and she is hooting in her favorite tree and I videotaped her. I will try to post it if it is not too long. That owl listened more than any human has in a year of my life. Sat on a branch. Loooked at me. Turned her head. Blinked her eyes. Made noises back to me. I have tons of video on my blog. Call me crazy but the animals are superior than the robots that are coming out of humans. In my opinion!
      I went for a walk with my husband yesterday. We got a picture of a bug on a flower that was gorgeous. And a dog looked at me while being walked by his walker and stopped dead in his tracks and pulled his owner over to me while the owner said, yep he gets what he wants and he wants to see you. Now how this dog knew to focus on my legs..who knows. He didn’t care about my husband’s legs but he sniffed mine and licked them because he KNEW they were diseased in my wheelchair and then he licked my face and the owner finally said ok he will stay here all day and they walked off and I thought wow, i have not had that kind of nurturing, love and care in I cannot tel you when. Dogs win

      Liked by 4 people

      • Yes animals are pretty amazing, and the bond we share with them is beautiful. Sorry to hear about your dog that passed away. No matter what great a life or how long they live it is always hard to say goodbye to a pet or animal because they are family. I have had to say goodbye to a few of our family pets and it is always hard. I think the hardest was our first dog that my parents got when I was like 2 or 3. She was a dalmation and we had her for a little over 14 years. She lived a long, healthy and happy life. She was very healthy and active and it went fast. It was like one day she got up and could barely get up, so my dad carried her down the stairs outside so she could go to the bathroom. The next day shhe couldn’t get up on her own at all. Took her to the vet who told us she probably suffered a stroke and had no feeling what so ever in her back end. (She did get hit by a car as a pup, and survived after some very expensive vet bills) my parents always said she was a pretty wreckless pup as her previous owners before us were really bad owners. That they wondered about paying the vet bill, but she ended up becoming the best dog and animal my parents ever had. They don’t regret saving her at all and I think wreckless or not if you can you should always save an animals life. xD But I get what they meant by that I guess…Because she really was the best dog I ever had. She lived a long life (14 years is a long time for a dog) and she was like up and running around until the very last moment pretty much. She never really suffered. I have had to see two dogs pass in my family since then and a family cat, but the dalmation was the toughest I think. But it never is easy. I sometimes wonder if I want to get another pet with my hubby because it’s so hard to say goodbye.

        Yes animals are superior. xD

        And yeah animals are pretty amazing at sensing things. I don’t know if they are necessarily smarter or what have you than humans, but I know they sure as hell are a lot more intelligent than most humans give them credit for. I have experienced similiar things as you with animals myself and it always brings a certain kind of joy or emotion to my heart when it happens.

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      • What a sweet sweet story of a loved dog!
        Jess was jumped in a box at a post office at 5 weeks old. He turned into a seizure alert dog, open fridge for me dog but mostly he was just a loving and amazing spirited animal that was so connected to how I felt and how and what I needed. His last 9 months after they said he had cancer I stayed with him in the kitchen where he liked to be after he got sick. I don’t know why but he wouldn’t come to the back of the house anymore. So I layed there with him every night for 9 months. Until 3 or so am then came to bed. No one matches his devotion to me and unconditional love. I cannot even begin to compare a human to that kind of love. Animals for sure top of the list

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      • Thanks for your concern about our dalmation. Like that she lived a long happy fullfilled life and that is all we can ask for. Still hard to see them pass no matter how much time you had with them. Sorry to hear about your dog, cancer is so rough. We had a mutt for a long time, he got a tumor on his side in his young adult years, but I think it wasn’t like cancerous yet or whatever. We noticed this bump, then it got bigger and bigger. The vet performed the surgery and after the expensive bill and 100 plus stitches later, he survived and the cancer never came back. (We think it may have came back near the end of his life though, we are not positive) as he was getting older (think he was at least 12 or 13) he was getting another lump on his neck. But he was also starting to have a lot of other health problems, his hips were really bad and we kinda knew it was almost time to make the call of having him put down. He was such a great dog though. A rescue dog we got him from the animal rescue place he was originally found as a puppy dumped on the side of the road with a litter of his brothers and sisters. I think one or two died out of the entire litter, but most of them were rescued. He had retriever in him and also terrior. People always told us he would have made a great search and rescue dog. Since he didn;t just fetch he would always take his time sniffing entire areas and circling before bringing the stick or ball back. He would have also been a great dog for kids, he was great and so friendly with children. He loved them. Some of it probably was because kids could match his huge amount of energy he had. xD I got off topic haha Okay so like after his cancer surgery like literally the day after he was back to his normal self, he wanted to go outside and just fetch all day. But we couldn’t let him, we had to literally make him take it easy as the vet adviced so he didn’t tare his stitches. He had a few emergencies to the vet as well (cut his leg a main artery actually on something in the woods once) etc just cause he was so hyper and always running around. But even through all his emergencies and cancer, he survived a lot. He lived a long life like our dalmation. Mutts normally live longer though as they don;t have the genetic problems a lot of full breeds have. It was also sad to see him go and it was more recent. Just before I moved last June, he started seizuring and having non stop compulsions. Rushed him to the vet, and cause he was very old and the valluum and all the other meds they gave him was really the only thing stopping him from continuing to seizure, we made the call to say goodbye. The vets were great about it though. It was another sad loss for sure. But I am glad to say all of our family pets really had no early life problems and lived a full life. I am thankful for that.

        Yes parrots are amazing! xD

        And yes there is nothing like love from an animal. I agree.

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      • Holy crap! Same! Jess had this lump on his side that got bigger and bigger. We had it removed and they said it was fine. Then he got one on his neck throat area a few years later. They said it was fine. A few years after that he had full blown cancer of his lung and intestines wrapping around his spine. He lived a wonderful life of love. I took him for walks, to the lake, to farms, he got to experience everything a dog should and tons of love. But cancer got him.
        I made him homemade food that prolonged his life 8-9 months which was so odd because they told us that he would live 3 days. I started making food from scratch and he started getting better. Have not found another dog like him. He was a lab/hound mix. I have some videos of him on here but i don’ tknow what I named them Jess or Jessy. He Roo-ed to talk. He never barked. Just roo-ed. So his nickname was rudy. He came to both names. Jess died last year . July. Seizures are just awful. I am so sorry your suffered so!
        My husband was just saying aren’t we so blesssed to have had such love even if just a short time 14 years. So short. But life without him has been pretty empty. It is hard to go back to a quiet house with two sick people and one who is rarely home when you had this lovey animal.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well glad he lived a loved life despite the cancer. And that is so neat that the food you made him prolonged his life. 14 years is short, but it is long for dog years. I hear so many especially full bred dogs have to be put down by the age of 10 due to too many health problems, most caused by over breeding. But 14 years is a short time. Unfortunately though we always tend to out live our pets. Yes it can be very hard to move on from a loss of a pet, but we have to adjust cause that is all we can do. Sorry again for your loss and thank you for your comments and support. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Im sorry for your loss too! I need a horse! They live longer!!!!! We visit a horse that I used to know as a baby 20 years ago. She is a miniature horse and i just found out she was one I used to visit when my daughter was young. She is on my blog somewhere. She is with a goat that my daughter used to love. So i have a pic of my daughter age 5 holding the goat as a baby and a pic of her now with the goat as a 20 year old but we were just told that these animals had been moved from the other farm we visited to this one. We wondered why they ran to us so excited. They remembered us!

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      • Since wordpress doesn’t let me edit my own comments, I am leaving another reply as I left out one thing and wanted to share another thing relating to animals awesomeness and intelligence. xD

        Forgot to mention in my comment:
        I think our dalmation we had ended up with no feelings in her hips and back end in her final couple days because of the accident she was in with the car as a pup.

        Animal awesomeness:
        My aunt and uncle have a parrot. It is an African Grey which are like the most intelligent or one of the most intelligent breeds of parrots. People often like to say stuff like parrots only imitate things like noise and speech. That you can only really teach them to mimic. That is not the case with African Greys at least. My aunt’s and uncle’s parrot is so flipping smart. He does more than just simply imitate. He knows people by names, he knows their dogs by name. He will call to them by name and never confuses them even though they are the same breed of dog and same color etc. He knows when to use speech given at the right time. One example is like uh….My uncle curses a lot (bad I know xD) and sure the parrot imitates this in his voice, but he like knows when to use the words. If he falls off his perch in his cage he will let out a curse word lol or when someone knocks on the door or calls on the phone he answers in the voice appropiately. He can do entire phone conversations and he does mimic all the dial tones and stuff as well as the answering machine. He dances and sings. xD He’s really cool. I kind of want one, but parrots are so messy, and they are not cuddly or tamed. Parrots will never be domestic animals. Also they only tend to get close to like just the owner. And parrots live a long time. So if a parrot outlives the owner, the parrot can have massive problems and become really depressed because they only built a strong bond with the one owner. I have heard too people can teach things like math, colors etc to the more intelligent breeds of parrots.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow so he’s brilliant!!!! That is sooo cool!!!!my husband had one and he was also depressed when my husband could no longer keep him as a child (they were homeless) but he parrot integrated into this aviary. And soon after was in heaven with all of those friends and able to fly. But my husband said he was a truly brilliant animal. Thanks for sharing the cool animal story. I could read them all day. I’m so so sorry about your Dalmatian. How very sad.
        The first time i EVER remember being sad is when my cat died when I think i was 7 or so. Like truly sad in my depths of my heart.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Lots here that I feel the same way about too. But just wanted to mention that they have already taken cursive out of the curriculum, at least in some schools/areas. I don’t know about all because I’m not in that loop.

      But a couple years ago I watched a video that showed a letter written in cursive (sorry I don’t remember the topic anymore) and when I finished reading it I scrolled to read comments. There were tons of young people commenting, “Please translate I can’t read cursive.” So yeah…

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I replied, ” you don’t look like a judgmental asshole but looks can be deceiving.” –Love it! Love the whole thing and I would re-blog it but for the one thing. It is your blog, and a damn good one, so I won’t say more. Hugs and–wow–kisses!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh man. I agree with this post completely. I hate these statements. I hate them. That’s why there’s so much hate in our world today. That’s why there needs to be more love. I promote love that’s all I want to promote. Love is the answer. So glad you posted this. Thanks for sharing. I love you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ok, so much here. Love this and agree. It’s not right to judge a whole group for the assholery of one.

    I had a point in my life where quite a few of my friends were gay, both men and women.

    One male friend was the best. I went and visited him a couple times when he lived about an hour away. A couple Halloweens as a matter of fact. One year we went further out west in our state to see another group of friends and stayed in a hotel room together, just me and him. So much fun.

    The other year we stayed in his area. That year he had a boyfriend and we went out to a local gay bar dressed up and drank and danced. It was close enough to walk so that was a lot of fun. Afterward, we went to one of his friend’s who loved to dress like a woman even when it wasn’t Halloween, and he/she and I got into a great convo about make up.

    I also had an experience with a woman and it was more than a kiss and went on for a couple months. That’s all I’ll say about that here. Lol. But yeah, I am not gay/lesbian either, but it was a moment…or more. πŸ™‚

    And as for cops…my cousin is one. And the only member of my family who I feel has my back so you can probably guess how I feel about him. ❀

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