SoCS: safe…Daring to be different. 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 7/17

Stream of Consiousness Saturday: Safe
Women are supposed to…“Have long hair

Wear a dress

Wear heels

Be thin

Be curvy

Have big breasts”
But what if your hair breaks off? You have to have a mastectomy? You weren’t born with large breasts or curvy hips? You have a medical condition that doesn’t allow you to fit into society’s image of body type, such as : diabetes or using a wheelchair or polycystic ovaries or thyroid disorder. What if your body does not fit what THEY say it should. Why can we not then:
DARE TO BE DIFFERENT AND DARE TO BE OURSELVES. 
Not what we are molded to be, groomed to be, forced to be, intimidated to be, pressured to be. 
Simply be who we WANT to be! 
I had a friend who was transgender and she DARED to be different. She DARED to be herself. She could have, at 60 years old, stayed HIM but she always her entire life felt like a HER and she DARED to be herself and I LOVED her for that bravery. 

I had a friend Mikell who had a Mohawk. He DARED to be different. He DARED to be himself. He loved his mohawk. I loved his mohawk. I loved that he felt OK in his own skin with his own hair however it may be. 

So in honor of being daring to be different and daring to NOT fit the NORM and what society deems a 45 year old woman to be. I am not playing it SAFE  to fit in. I am being today who I WANT to BE. I am DARING to be ME!!!! This is me today…


The donkey did not care what I looked like. The goat did not care what I looked like. The dragonfly did not care what I looked like. The deer did not care what I looked like. The people in the restaurant, well I have no clue if they cared what I looked like because I DARED to be who I wanted to be. That person is not the mohawk. That person is not the clothes that are accepted or not. I am NOT what I look like. Today I may have DARED to be the me I wanted to be on the outside but every day I am ALWAYS the same me underneath where it matters. My heart, my soul, my emotions, my being, is and always will DARE to be REAL and HONEST. That is how my blog began. I chose  to stop being what THEY wanted me to be and started being the real me. 
Here is to all of us who are true to ourselves and dare to leave the safe illusion others want us to live in. Here is to all of the bravery out there! 

41 thoughts on “SoCS: safe…Daring to be different. 

    • I am so happy that my thoughts could help.
      Body image is so so hard especially with what is put upon us by so many people. Interestingly last year I was 40 lbs heavier and I had never in my life been that heavy and I struggled with that and then finally embraced it and loved it and then I started having some health issues that made me lose a ton of weight and then I struggled with that. I honestly just woke up yesterday and thought how ridiculous it all was and I should not be struggling because of anyone else and what they think I should be. Being healthy is the most important thing for me right now for my body and for my mind, I wanted to look like I wanted to look, not like society wanted me to look and I freaking felt great. I put my picture on facebook and the first comment I got was I was too skinny. Which really defeated the ENTIRE purpose. But there will always be someone out there who does not understand what you are going through and what you are trying to achieve.
      I am just sorry you are struggling

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      • I struggled with it in the past. When I was 18-about 25. I don’t know that that “feeling” ever goes away for me and the need to “control” some aspect of my life. It is such a difficult battle. I’ve actually been extremely logical lately…never have I counted calories but I have for the last week and realized that with a muscle disease and a bone disease, and lyme disease, that my body is not getting enough. So I have been forcing myself to get up at 1am if I am hungry and not denying myself anything and eating what I want. As if saying to myself WTH I deserve better than this BS of food control. A friend of my husband’s shared with me something so simple that helped me. Control little things. If you want a light on. If you want it off. A door closed. A door locked, a closet light on. Flip that switch and know you did that. That seemed to help me. But for now my weight loss is strictly health and medication / seizure related. I realized for the first time in a long time and I actually hungry. Having the seizures stopped my appetite I think for longer than I had realized and then the PTSD and anxiety made that all worse.
        I do believe there is recovery and I do hope you don’t lose faith in that.
        At some point I stopped being focused on what my body looked like and just felt glad that my body was still functioning even with all of this disease. I wrote a post years ago called body image. Somewhere on my blog. Where I really embraced my body with self love. Something I had never done before. And I still work on that now. Wishing you the best because I know what a challenge it is

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      • Thank you. I posted something about potential recovery the other day too. I’ll see if I can find your post. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety as well as the anorexia/EDNOS for two years. I’m 18 now and was diagnosed and weight restored at 16. They then decided I probably didn’t have an eating disorder and everything fell apart again, I lost all the weight again and we’re back to square 1. I think the tip about controlling other things is really good. I redesigned my room to the way I wanted it, which helped but I think using smaller things is a good idea. I’ll try it. And thanks…

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      • I have sticky notes everywhere to remind myself as a way to control my life I will eat. I have a schedule written out of when I will eat and what time and that is another way to control in a good way. Control in a good way is good when we feel we have lost control in every other way. But for me I could never see the loss in my body externally. I looked in the mirror and felt the same. Then i would see a picture and think oh my bones are showing. I had to go deep within. I put sticky notes on the mirrors and I look at them and remind myself and say outloud i am beautiful. I had to tackles was was eating at me from the inside before I could tackle the struggle with food itself. Wishing you well on the recovery!!!

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      • Yes, I have that problem. Also comparing to others is a difficult one. I find myself looking at someone and thinking they’re thinner than me, And my Mum goes ‘no way! They’re a normal weight and you look like a stick’ but I don’t see it. I still find my body really fat when I look in the mirror (which I avoid) and I never seem to get any thinner regardless of what the numbers say. Anyway I’m sort of trying to stabilise my weight now (most of the time I try) so I have some time to work on the inside bits. I find it easier that way too and I hope I’m making progress though it’s hard to say. Having someone who has gone through it to write to is really helping though so thanks for all your support 💕

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      • There is one i just found i wrote called overcoming anorexia……but the body image one is gone. I’m so upset. I guess it wasn’t restored with my other posts that were lost when my account was hacked.

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      • Do you have a reblog button? Would you mind if I reblogged that post and we could get other’s input on it too?
        I have to go eat but when I get back I will reblog it or just comment my thoughts if you don’t have a reblog or want to keep it private

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    • Thank you! I usually see the deer by myself but my daughter was with me so she took pictures while I was out there. I was really surprised. She captured a really cool moment

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  1. Considering what you’ve been through physically and emotionally over the past couple of weeks, these pictures are truly amazing! You look great! You look alive and loving life. Today, I leave your blog with a happy smile. Thank you for being you today!

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  2. Yep! Basically….Fuck society and its molds of who we should all be.

    Pics:
    1. Goats!!! Love them and good to see you back there.

    2. Love that open sky, but I have a couple questions: What is with that line coming off that cloud? It kind of looks like a needle and then to the right is the thread (or more like fluffy yarn.) And what is that black dot in the sky? A bird?

    3. Daring…but really cute. I love that part of horses and donkeys right above the mouth. The fur/skin is so soft there.

    4/5. Good to see you walking/standing. Did the deer come give you the hug you were reaching for? Lol 😉 Or were you deploying your Spider-man web from your hand? Heehee.

    6. Fierce! Seriously. And I’m in love with that hair style.

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    • 1. I freaking love those goats. 2. That was the weirdest line! I saw it and took a picture of it. The black dots were dragon flies. They were EVERYWHERE. It was so freaking cool. 3. That donkey I love. I am still cautious, more than I used to be. My daughter was with me and I had her keep an eye on all of them while I was with one and giving me heads up on their locations! That area you spoke of is sooo soft. It is velvet.
      4. I was trying to heart to heart connect to the deer. I was summoning her to me but alas it did not work. I took like 20 steps and then didn’t think I could make it back to the car. But it was so freaking cool that she just stood there. I wanted to walk closer but couldn’t do it. She never moved. Even when I got in the car and we drove away she was still in the same spot eating. I SHOULD have deployed my spidey web and brought her to me! 6. Thank you!!! I loved my hair style too!!!!
      I just tried to go to your blog but it asked for an invite. So I sent one.
      And yes. Fuck society. Agreed.

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      • You can post it here.
        I implemented a 2 step authentication where a code is sent to my phone after I put my wordpress password in and I woke up this morning and I had 2 codes on my phone and I was SLEEPING!!!!!!
        So who knows if my account is still hacked or what. Right now I have no notifications and it is as if no one read the post I wrote hours ago. 7 people have viewed it and I know that isn’t right.
        Anyway…thanks for approving my request. I will read your blog in a little bit. Just got home from a walk

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  3. Loved this post. It s hard to believe someone said you were too thin. Especially after what you are writing about! I guess some people never get the idea to love everyone just as they are. My sister told me, “Embrace your mental illness!” That helped me. I am who I am, by the grace of God, and I will embrace that.

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    • RIGHT! My whole point was NOT what my body looks like! Thank you for seeing that. I am totally aware of my weight. Overly aware. Wish I were not aware. I do agree that if we embrace who we are, all parts of us, then we move into acceptance

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