My kind of forgiveness. Sorry my other blog posts of this improperly loaded

I visited this horse every week for a year. Until she bit my arm and injured me. I loved her. I trusted her. I have no idea why she did what she did and I never will. The point is, I could never trust her again. I decided I would not go back to the farm. She had tainted the joy I felt there. I then forgot, after the seizure that she had even bitten me. So I went back to the farm and she came no where near me. I visited the other animals. Something left me uneasy. My family informed me of what happened and I looked through my pictures and although I cannot recall everything that happened I do remember the bite. 

I decided that I needed to go back to the farm and address this. I could not let one event of bad take away the good. I also could not go on visiting a farm with animals with no safety measures and no boundaries. So I brought someone with me who watched every animal as I addressed the horse. She came up to me and tried to nuzzle up to me and love on me like she used to. But once bitten… 

I told her that I could no longer trust her. That I would not embrace her or kiss on her or love on her. It was her choice to bite me and it was my choice to implement boundaries for my own safety. I could no longer trust her. So, I broke ties with her. I reached out my hand and touched the top of her hand while being monitored and protected and I told her that all ties were broken. She would not control me or give me fear or take away my joy of seeing the other animals. 

That, in my own way, was forgivness. I no longer have ties, I no longer have attachment, I will no longer let you hurt me, I will no longer let you give me fear or pain or sadness. You will no longer take away my joy. I let you go. 

I know. This was only a horse. But it was my way of implementing and practicing boundaries, safety, and awareness. All of these things are important in recovery from abuse. Even if it starts with a horse. 

After that I went back to the farm. I went with someone who could keep an eye on the horse while I pet the donkey. Even then I was aware. I was cautious. But I was peaceful. I felt joy and happiness. So here are a few of my moments. Finishing with a video that I hope posts. This blog post has locked up 5 times now. They are butterflies. Over 20 of them ….quite a reward I would say. 

​​

24 thoughts on “My kind of forgiveness. Sorry my other blog posts of this improperly loaded

  1. I’m not a huge animal lover … not a hater either … just cant do attachments with animals … However … I have a thing for donkeys lol. Whenever I see one I’ll stop and watch it for ages … they fascinate Me. I’m thinking its their reputation for being stubborn that I like, but I’m not sure πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So sorry you got bitten. I find talking to horses really helps. I’m nervous too though and if one bit me that would be that! I had one who just wanted me to scratch his Butt so I said we can’t really be friends then because I want to talk to your face not your rear end πŸ˜‚ I hope you can still see the other animals…

    Like

    • That’s ready cute!!!!
      Our dog was like that. Always put her butt to you!
      Ive ridden horses since my best friend was a barrel racer in the 3rd grade and never been bittten. His was a first. I will visit all the others just steer clear of her

      Liked by 1 person

      • I guess that’s better. I don’t really ride, but wish I could (it’s very expensive round here). I had equine involvement therapy for a while though and I still go to see the horses to cuddle and talk to .

        Liked by 1 person

      • My daughter rode for years and did jumping competitions. I stopped riding years ago but still love to visit them and pet them. It is very therapeutic for me. I meant really cute not ready cute. My vision is a little blurry today, sorry.
        Can you still do the equine involvement therapy?
        It was expensive here to ride to for my daughter but I’ve always had friends with horses and farms so we just rode for free

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think this is a really good example of practicing healthy relationships! I do kind of feel that animals are different because they react to things we can’t see but I also know that’s totally not the point here. I truly believe that we teach people how to treat us. We do this by what we accept because what we accept is what will continue. If we respect ourselves we teach people that we are deserving of respect. I guess for some people it’s easy but I know it’s not easy for me so I appreciate your story and reminder that we have the power to change our standards of treatment and reactions to getting less than what we deserve! Thank you

    Like

    • Oh ofcourse. There were a ton of reasons why she bit me. There were new animals brought to the farm, it was feeding time, the owner let the dogs out, etc. but you are right. It was not really about the horse biting me but more about practicing what is ok, what is safe, and saying no to what is not, with humans. I just happened to practice with a horse who presented me with a good scenario.
      Thank you for understanding my writing! You really got what I was trying to say

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s