Stream of consciousness Saturday’s word is: Well. https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1417/
Well, yesterday I felt only gratitude. All day long. This little frog was in the car. He had to be released and the nearest stop was the prayer garden. Stopping at the prayer garden led me to the most beautiful singing bird. Right down the path. There she was. All white with a little markings on her wings. I was told she was a mocking bird. In all of my 45 years I have never seen one before. I held my ipad up and videotaped her song. Then I watched her. She didn’t mind me standing there. She just sang and sang. I walked down the path and found a little white flower in the shape of a butterfly. I found red flowers to add to my “red nature beauties”.I found 5 more red flowers! A red rose, a fire looking flower, and some red pentas. That little frog led me to the prayer garden. I put my hand on the cross in the garden and only felt gratitude.
I made it home in time 4:17 to see the 4:00 flower open. I never walk past her when she is open. I dropped everything in my arms but my ipad which I opened to see exactly what time it was. Sure enough. Just in time to see that yellow flower open.
It was a tree frog day. One had his foot caught in the door. My daughter sung him back to life after I had a long conversation with him! I’d love to add tons of videos frog rescues and frog singing and bird singing but I’m not sure how much space I have for videos. It was a frog day though! A frog led me to a prayer garden. A frog led my daughter to sing.
Then I went for my wheelchair walk. A frog plummeted from the tallest tree on our property right in front of my chair. What on earth! I thought for sure he was injured. He got thoroughly inspected. He was fine. He hopped off with these huge leaps. How did he fall so far and live!
During my walk I stopped to take picture of a feather. Because I stopped I ran into two very inspirational people that I believe were placed there perfectly just for me. Just like that feather was. Just on my little walk. I saw some more flowers. The ones that hang in the sky that are purple were blooming. Orange puffy flowers that were in a hedge that I would LOVE to have in my own yard one day.
As I pulled in my driveway I saw a pink flower that smelled like bubble gum and a fruit roll up and more bubble gum. I have seen this flower before in other people’s yards but there one was right on the edge of my driveway. I stopped to smell it. I inhaled all of the scent and felt ok. I felt renewed by the scent of this flower, by the leap of the frog, by the two women I met on my walk.
Well, yesterday I felt gratitude. Everything felt clear in my mind and with my memory.
Today, I felt sad.
I woke up and for 2 hours I contemplated what I would do when my 3 year old got up and if we would take the dogs to the park like we did every day at 11. I was tired. I wanted to sleep a little longer. I fell back asleep and woke up an hour later and realized that my daughter is not 3 and both of my dogs were dead. I felt this blanket of sadness come over me. All day my daughter and husband said that I repeated myself, asking the same questions. I don’t even remember the questions. I guess my brain is not recovered from the seizures. I have to be patient. I forgot I had a muscle disease. My daughter told me that I once said, “If I ever have amnesia don’t remind me I have a muscle disease and maybe it will just be gone.” So no one reminded me. Today I jumped out of bed and decided to cook a good vegan meal for my daughter. I forgot to sit on the stool while I cooked. I walked too fast to the door. I forgot to use my scooter to take the garbage out. Forgetting I had a muscle disease didn’t make it go away. It caused severe pain and it definitely did NOT make the disease go away.
So, well, today I was not so full of gratitude. Not as much as yesterday.
My daughter asked if I could sit outside with her. The mosquitoes were awful. All I wanted to do was get in my bed. NO! How many daughters actually want to spend time with their mom and sit outside and talk. So I wrapped up in a sheet which she promptly took a picture of and said I looked mortifyingly scary in my sheet in the dark but she laughed and laughed and all that gratitude came back. I am grateful that whatever is put in front of me, whatever challenges, they do not stop me from feeling joy. My daughter’s laughter brought back all of the gratitude.