I didn’t get to go to my senior prom. I was in a mental hospital and then got my GED. I did go on later to get my degree in Early Childhood Education and also became a Chaplain. As for senior prom, it did not happen. My attempted suicide put a kink in all of that. I never even really thought about it until my daughter’s Junior year of highschool. My older brother sent my daughter his daughter’s dress, hoping she could wear it. It didn’t fit her. We ended up finding a girl who had no money for her prom dress and gave it to her. For one day though, I wore that dress. I spun around in the living room. My dog, Jess, posed with me in our “Redefining the past” moment where I got to finally wear a prom dress!
Still makes me smile.
AND THIS IS WHY WOMEN DON’T COME FORWARD.
THE “AMEN SISTA” AND BRAVOS ON HER FACEBOOK PAGE FOR HER WORDS…FOR HER DOING WHAT???? IGNORANCE TO WHAT A WOMAN GOES THROUGH. I CANNOT EVEN. I’M GOING TO GO THROW UP NOW. SERIOUSLY. I’M GOING TO GO THROW UP NOW.
MY DAUGHTER READ IT ALL AND SAID IT IS “Internalized misogyny ” OR PLAIN SEXISM. THANKS HONEY. THANK GOD I RAISED A DAUGHTER WHO KNOWS….NOT THIS IGNORANT BULLSHIT ON FACEBOOK.
FACEBOOK CAN JUST UNDO WHAT YEARS OF THERAPY DOES BECAUSE IT IS A REMINDER OF EVERYONE WHO GIVES NOT TWO FUCKS ABOUT THE REALITY OF WHAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH.
I WILL NOW DEACTIVATE MY FACEBOOK… WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT ANYWAY? SOAP BOX? PLATFORM? DEFINITELY IS NOT A PLACE OF EDUCATION OR OPENMINDEDNESS.
MAKES ME SICK. LITERALLY SICK.
I got out to the prairie and passed by the house of the man who attacked me 10 or so years ago. The more I drive past it the more I guess it is like cognitive behavior therapy self induced and it bothers me less. The man no longer lives there but his wife, my old best friend does. I was on the way to see the goats when I passed the house and was SURE their horse was dead. I have known this horse and ridden him long ago actually cantering him through the same prairie I visit. There is a steep slope down to where he was and I cannot walk on ground like that. Well, I may get down there but I’d never get back. I looked at him and passed him. Then I stopped, looked some more. Thought, Ok he is just napping. So, I went to see my goat and sure enough he was layed out flat too. I called and called the goat and finally he lifted his head but I was sure he was dead. Like OMG all the animals are dead!!!!!! I’ve never ever seen them lay down for so long. I visited with the donkey and the goat never got up and he always runs to see me! I got in the car and drove closer and he lifted his head and then I knew I could go because he was ok.
Getting in and out of the car is the hardest. I can drive with my right leg but walking requires the left and that causes a lot of pain. So I try to get out just one time and see the animals and then go. I had already gotten out twice and now I was going on three times because that HORSE was still not UP!!! I stopped the car. I contemplated. Do I go to the door and let her know her horse is not ok. This woman does not speak to me. This would be hard. What do I do. I got out. Yelled and clapped and still the horse didn’t move. I texted my daughter and a friend that lives back there to see if this was normal. After almost 45 minutes of me getting in and out of the car in a totally quandary about what I was going to do, the horse lifted his head. I was drenched in sweat. My legs were shot. I got in the car to go home and ran into my friend on the way across the prairie who told me that it was totally normal for the old horse to be laying down like that. Ugh. Who knew!
I wonder who else would have felt the same way. I wonder. I really wonder who would have contemplated going back to the house of the attack to warn the owner of her sick horse. Thank heavens the horse is fine. I video taped him to send to my daughter so she could google it while I was there. I even enlarged it to see if I could see if he was breathing. I could see nothing.
So, that was MY excitement for the day. The horse and the goat that weren’t dead….only me I think would even have a day like this.