I hung out with a donkey today, a hawk, a horse, and three strangers. It felt good. The donkey gave me unconditional love and snuggles and was a fantastic listener. The horse gave me gentleness and kindness and was happy to see a friend. The hawk gave me strength and faith. The three strangers ran a deli where I occasionally get sandwiches for my daughter. I spilled my whole life out to those 3 guys in about 45 minutes and got more compassion and real life emotion in that time than years combined of people in my daily life. Maybe being around someone all the time makes you immune. Who knows. But for a short time I felt that someone got the gravity of what I go through and actually felt it with me. I also ran into the neighbor that leaves me unexpected gifts for no other reason than she is a kind soul. I showed her the picture of the sunset I took yesterday and she genuinely cared.
I had not driven in 11 years due to my muscle disease. I thought I couldn’t and did not even try. Then a year ago I decided that I did not want to just give up that ability because someone gave me the stamp of “canceled” on my chart of muscle capability. They don’t even KNOW what I have so how do they KNOW my capabilities. After 10 minutes and a quick look at my chart? It took me months of driving up and down the driveway and back roads. I started out with just putting the car in reverse and neutral and drive. Then I worked on pushing the brake, slamming on the brake, and turning the steering wheel. After 9 months I can finally drive 1 mile to the prairie, which I do every day, and 5 miles to the deli which I try to do once a week. I will admit it causes severe pain but I don’t often notice it while I am experiencing freedom of doing it. I don’t know how much longer I can do this simple thing as my leg and shoulder are going fast. As I look through my sunset pictures that I started again yesterday and my trip to the prairie today, I am grateful that I did not give up this ability. Even if I only have it for a short time. Sheer will and determination beat odds and labels.