WHY I DEACTIVATED MY FACEBOOK.

My reply

Hers

And mine

AND THIS IS WHY WOMEN DON’T COME FORWARD.

THE “AMEN SISTA” AND BRAVOS ON HER FACEBOOK PAGE FOR HER WORDS…FOR HER DOING WHAT???? IGNORANCE TO WHAT A WOMAN GOES THROUGH. I CANNOT EVEN. I’M GOING TO GO THROW UP NOW. SERIOUSLY. I’M GOING TO GO THROW UP NOW.

MY DAUGHTER READ IT ALL AND SAID IT IS “Internalized misogyny ” OR PLAIN SEXISM. THANKS HONEY. THANK GOD I RAISED A DAUGHTER WHO KNOWS….NOT THIS IGNORANT BULLSHIT ON FACEBOOK.

FACEBOOK CAN JUST UNDO WHAT YEARS OF THERAPY DOES BECAUSE IT IS A REMINDER OF EVERYONE WHO GIVES NOT TWO FUCKS ABOUT THE REALITY OF WHAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH.

I WILL NOW DEACTIVATE MY FACEBOOK… WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT ANYWAY? SOAP BOX? PLATFORM? DEFINITELY IS NOT A PLACE OF EDUCATION OR OPENMINDEDNESS.

MAKES ME SICK. LITERALLY SICK.

51 thoughts on “WHY I DEACTIVATED MY FACEBOOK.

  1. The world is sick, filled with sick people and Facebook is a cesspool for such people! I got rid of all my social media accounts for the same reason many news sites are getting rid of comments sections: too many abusive idiots looking to incite arguments and verbal abuse. I think what has happened to these woman is horrible and I hope those perpetrators all rot in jail.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Me too on all accounts. I just deleted my facebook, messenger too. I don’t want to read this infuriating “cessspool” you really nailed it with that word. It’s all very triggering and I just want to move on as best as I can without idiots invalidating my life around every corner. Taking myself off of social media seems like the wisest choice I have made in a long time. No one has free access to surprise me with messages as I wake up. It was time. I also have an instagram where I post all of my animal pictures. I made that private. So my blog will stay public as its main intent was to help survivors. This post shows why this needs to stay public more than ever. We need to have a support system when the other system is full of judgment .
      Thanks for your comment. Means a lot.

      Liked by 3 people

      • It is a huge relief. My only mistake was I think I deactivated the account too soon after messaging people with my contact details, I didn’t realise that the messages might disappear once my account wasn’t active, so now I’ll have to track down people individually to see if they got them.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I just asked someone and all of my messages are still there , there is just no face with it. So if you sent messages I think they still have them. I sent one to give my email to an old friend and she messaged me after i deactivated it and said she had the message but didnt know who it was from, only bc my email has part of my name did she know. Hopefully the people you sent it to got it.
        Your experience really helped me although i am so sorry you had to go through it. But i find it no coincidence that I read all of your blogs today and then tonight this happened and it really gave me the boost i needed to just cut it all off. So thank you!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Why assume no one got pregnant? It is time for re-education. Research has shown that sex offenders/molesters/ pedophiles/ incest offenders DO NOT BELIEVE THEY DO ANY HARM! (Reference: My book). I pray this movement is not headed for a backlash. Do folks not remember when women who were raped were too “ashamed” to tell anyone? Rather than feeling pissed/hurt/fed up, most of the women I have encountered as a therapist have felt ashamed and dirtied by being treated as a SEX OBJECT, not as a PERSON! Rampant in this culture has always been, it seems, the notion that women are inferior, not to be taken seriously, only SEX OBJECTS to be toyed with if not physically overpowered. As a survivor of child sexual abuse myself, I could not feel my anger for decades. I treated sex offenders in a prison setting for 12 years and many of them were likeable, otherwise respectable men.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Why assume anything she did! She is a representation of what we all have fought against to actually get our voices back and SHE is what my entire town represents. Ignorant people who don’t think for one second what a woman has gone through.
      I worry that this movement is headed for a backlash. This woman is proof that if an injustice is fought for hard enough there will always be those in the background just waiting to sabotage it all. It disgusts me. It all made me sick to read. I tried to educate her. She didn’t care. Nothing I said mattered. Then she blames the woman who does nothing for everyone else who will get hurt by this man over the period where she chose not to talk. It was never my choice to not talk. My entire town showed me I did not matter. They knew it was happening and did nothing. So many knew. So many turned away. Even after I told nothing was done. Even now to this day my family does not speak to me because of their own pride and shame. That town represents why women never come forward and when they do they are persecuted .
      I did not feel anger until now. Until these last 2 years which is 30 years later have I finally been able to release these repressed emotions only to be told that I need to be sweet bethany again. Sweet bethany has always been there. But i have a right to the anger i feel. I certainly won’t be listening to this woman on facebook or anyone like her ever again.
      Anyway, thank you for your comment, taking the time to read my blog and supporting women everywhere.
      I am sorry for what happened to you. It is truly a tragedy what you had to go through as a child.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Omg that FB post came from a female?? Here I thought it was some cocky boy. Good lord, we have further to go than I thought. Is she too young to remember what things were like back then? Holy god. Her little rant triggered *me*, and I’m not a rape survivor! (Sexual harassment/aggression, yes, but not rape.). I can only imagine what comments like that do to gentle souls like you who have endured a full assault πŸ˜³πŸ’πŸ’ž

    I’m so so sorry girl πŸ’πŸ’πŸ˜˜. I would have deleted my FB too, over something as heinous as that tirade. Ugh πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I first thought, ignorance. But no, you informed her. She wouldn’t listen to you or try to understand. I don’t get these kind of people. I only go on Facebook now on Messenger with my family. We have a lot of fun with that.

    I read the New York Times online. There is a small backlash, but they get put in their place very fast. For the first time I do believe this publicity, and the companies doing the right thing for a change, will make a huge difference. In big companies anyway.

    Like

    • I was mainly using messenger but then that got frustrating too because it seemed that people used it as the only way they could contact me. No one called or sent me texts otherwise and so i deactivated all of it. I don’t have family that speaks to me anyway so it just seemed negative all around.
      I was hoping this girl, when I tried to tell her the reasons why would at least open her mind a little but to then blame that victim for anyone else that was hurt and so many others jumped on the bandwagon I just couldn’t anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I understand that. A lot of people turned on me on Facebook because I told them what they were saying about President Obama wasn’t true and it was unkind. I didn’t mind. I hated seeing the hatred they had for him and his wife.

        My oldest daughter was here tonight. We were talking about people not believing those abused. She is a counselor, and said, “Unfortunately, most families don’t believe their children or adult children.” I was shocked, but she has seen the statistics. I told her I remembered Oprah’s family ignored what she said about her uncle and still have him over at Xmas etc. They will not confront him, ask him to go away or anything at all.

        Like

  5. If this is based on Hollywood, you should of pointed out that people did know, people did talk about it. It wasn’t as though women, it was happening to, kept quiet, they did speak out and were hushed. We have had here (UK), one of the biggest sexual abuse scandals come out about 5 years ago. The power this man had and how much people did to make sure it was hushed up and it was till his death, when the women (they were children at the time) found their voice, but if he was still alive today, I debate whether we would know.

    Like

    • I could have argued all of these points with her but I don’t think she would have listened. She was not up for listening to anything other than her own opinion. It was based on Hollywood. We are here in the US and seemed pretty set in her ways and unwilling to hear any other points of view. Which I found to be very triggering, upsetting, just overall defeating so I had to just leave that whole facebook world.
      She knows my story. Everyone in that stupid town knows my story and how I tried to tell and how no one cared. It is why I started my blog.
      How awful to hear of what happened in the UK. Awful to hear of abuse anywhere!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ah, she is one of those, I do what you have done, although I tend just to block. It was indeed, and shocked a lot of people the guy in question did a lot for charity, but actually used that as a cover for molesting disadvantaged children. I don;t think we will ever know the full story or how many victims there were, while some have come forward, I am sure the extent is much much larger than anyone thinks

        Like

      • Oh right I did hear about that years ago. How awful. I just watched Spotlight with my husband and was shocked at this true story and this was before everyone started the metoo coming forward that has allowed strength in numbers in these women finally telling their stories.
        I should have just blocked her but i feel like on facebook now i would have just wanted to block everyone. They are just using it as a platform for their own thoughts and i have found no one to be trying to help anyone!!!! Just furthering their own agenda and opinion. It was getting sickening

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Facebook is a perfect example of the sleeping stupid sheep at large. It IS appalling how unaware people are. You are so right about why people don’t come forward when they are even the least bit harrassed, let alone raped.

    It took me months to finally tell a boss of mine that her slimy fuck of a husband was sexually harassing me. I even told her things that he’d said to me that I would not have known had he not told me. But still she said, “Oh, not MY Bill. He’d never do anything like that.”

    And since it was my job that was on the line, it was a difficult struggle. To tell or not to tell. I knew she wouldn’t believe me. Which is why it took me so long to say anything.

    I didn’t fight for unemployment when the turned it down because I was too afraid to face the slimeball in court, especially knowing that he was ‘connected’ in the township/county.

    That asshole you were going back and forth with here (above) is a big fucking talker isn’t she? I’d wish the situation on her just for her fake tough bullshit talk. That drivel is coming from someone who has no idea what she’s talking about and should be not even be talking about it. How the fuck does she know that there were no pregnancies. Abortion can be done in a heartbeat. Especially for those with all that money. Once and done and back on their feet.

    Like

    • That is awful you had to endure that, then to tell her and her deny you and then to not get unemployment it is like this monster just keeps on abusing. I hate that for you!!!
      This girl is all about her fake bullshit mouth isn’t she. All tough as nails because she has NO CLUE what any of it feels like. You should have seen the rest of the comments. All the same. All encouraging her. I even commented that I did go see a doctor and the doctor just thought i was a whore. Nothing changed her opinion. How on earth does this girl presume to know what these women have done!!!!!! She really really got to me. WHICH is why i deactivated my facebook. I don’t want access or have others to have access to me with this mindset. I’d rather just live here in my own little wordpress friendly space !!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t blame you one bit. Comments like that, people like that, just make things worse and make it more difficult to recover because it sets off that cortisol/adrenaline rush all over again. I mean, we’re angry enough already.

        That doctor! How dare someone who takes the oath that doctors take put you through that. I’m sorry you dealt with such a heartless prick of a doctor.

        Sorry, my language is harsh lately. I’ve been feeling rather angry myself at all the ignorance out there.

        Like

    • My daughter does have a way with words. I said ” what does that even mean?” She explained it to me. She is like mom get with the correct lingo here!!!!! And I said something the other day and she corrected me and said , “gender neutral mom.” I love that she is wise and that she is educated and advocating for the right things and the right people.
      Facebook is such a scary representation of the sick twisted awful people!!!!
      Plus I realized it just made me accessible. My daughter said this morning ” you are too accessible to these people” and she is right. Anyone at any time can send a message through messenger and it was time for that to stop. At least on here I can not approve or read a message after the first line if it is nasty. On messenger i get caught off guard.
      Anyway. Thanks for your comment πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    • Since this is a conversation about understanding and educating, I hope that you will take this a constructive feedback Me… the use of the word “retard” and “retarded” is very offensive to people with disabilities and/or developmental delays. The disability community is working very hard to eliminate use of that word as an insult.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you for your feedback. However … I have a few ‘disabilities’ and therefore, as part of that ‘community’ and as an individual, I embrace this word in all it’s aspects: especially when used to describe actual retarded actions as those in this FB post toward Bethany. You’ll be interested to know I also use the “N” word, as this is how I describe Myself as a “person of colour”.
        I appreciate your opinion however and thankyou for taking the time to share it πŸ™‚

        Like

  7. There are some people who just aren’t worth arguing with… as frustrating as that is, they will never change or be able to see another point of view. At my former place of employment, we had a man that was sexually harassing women for 15 or so years. Each woman that was harassed, thought it was only happening to them (myself included) and we were embarrassed, ashamed, thought we were responsible somehow or making more out of it than it was… until we each started to share our stories with each other and realized that it was not an isolated incident. Around 50 woman had been experiencing harassment! Once we realized this, only then was someone brave enough to bring it up to human resources. Many women then stepped up to add their experiences. He was fired. So yes, I agree with what you are saying Bethany. Sometimes social media can be so irritating!

    Like

    • Well I am thrilled to hear that he was fired and that you were all then safe from him. Sometimes it takes a few to step forward to give others the courage as abuse causes so many emotions.
      I wanted to try and educate her and change some of that close minded thinking. But realized I only succeeded in greatly upsetting myself in the realization that some people don’t want to change and her post should have told me right away that that was her stance so why I tried to change that I don’t know. But I walked away , a little too late, but still I did.
      I’m so sorry that that happened to you at work.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I agree! I have had several arguments with people on facebook and it’s just like pounding your face into a brick wall. Then I end up being even more upset! I try to just avoid it as best as I can. But sometimes (like your experience), it’s just so wrong, that you feel like you have to speak up. Hopefully a little bit of what you said will sink in. I applaud you for trying!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. I saw how it escalated and I disengaged. Walking away from social media is the most healing thing I can do for myself right now. I can filter as best I can what comes in, what I allow in and put up a protective barrier while I go through this huge healing process. This morning I had a seizure for the first time since the grand mal seizures a few months ago. It was in my sleep. I woke up at the end of it. I have been noticing smells lately. I had a PTSD moment a few days ago. So this is just lack of self awareness on my part that I let it go as far as I did because it obviously pushed my body and neuro system too far and sent me over the edge. I hate setbacks but I can learn from them.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, it definitely sounds like it’s best to stay away from it and just focus on taking care of yourself! That kind of ignorance can be so upsetting, I understand how it takes it’s toll on our own well being and isn’t worth the sacrifice. I’m sorry it caused you so much turmoil, both physically and emotionally and hope you feel better soon!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Agree πŸ’― % and also why I deactivated Facebook. Of course people come forward only when there is less fear. There is safety in numbers. It’s people like this woman who make me lose faith in the future of mankind. She needs to read a book or leave her house once in a while. Thanks for posting! When I have an itch to go back on fb I’ll think of this post and it will stop me from doing it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Me too. I have no reason to go on there and don’t know why I ever did other than just being home all the time and being bored but then I realize I fill my mind wtih such garbage on their. Other opinions that I disagree with. Such persecution and judgment . I don’t even watch the news for this reason yet I would read facebook. I needed to get off of it!

      Liked by 1 person

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