What I really mean when I say mindful

I haven’t actually researched mindfulness. I am sure there is a specific plan/ action/ definition/ therapy for mindfulness. I don’t know what that is. I’m guessing I am pretty close in my use of the word though. I’d like to explain to you what MY mindfulness means.

I started my mindfulness by going for walks in my wheelchair and completely leaving my thoughts behind. As soon as I left the house I did not let any thought come and stay. No planning, bills, car repairs, what if’s, stress. At first I would choose to look for something specific so as to give my mind something to do other than think. Find something red. Find something blue. Find a flower in the tree. Find a black and white object. I did this for months with a plan every day of something to search for. When I found what I was looking for, I completely embraced it. I looked at it, smelled it, closed my eyes and felt it, and thought of nothing else but what was right in front of me. I looked at the textures and the colors. I looked at how the light shined on it or the shadows cast on it and how the wind blew it.

Now when I go for walks I don’t always look for something specific. I have done the mindful walks for so long that my mind is automatically clear and I am simply aware of the things I see. I appreciate the clouds. I feel gratitude for the flowers. I let the good in, the beauty in, however beauty is defined that day.

I should change the definition to heartfulness. I am more feeling with my heart and out of my mind. It is a good balance.

The photographs I post are a moment of heart. A moment when whatever I was looking at was all that mattered in the world. Yesterday it was the many lizards on our deck, the bee in the Camellia flowers, the different petals each with their own feel and look and feeling. I started my day by wandering around my yard and just observing and feeling in my heart the colors of the world. Just watching the bee gave me hours of focus on something other than my thoughts. Watching the lizards and the different way they turned their heads and looked at me gave me time outside of my own head. Smelling the honeysuckle, noticing the red in nature gave me something to focus on. My heart is in nature and animals and that is where I can find my peace.

I’ve had some “spam” on my blog of “Yes, we see the same sky pictures.” And I say to those who feel that way: there is never the same sky. You are looking with your eyes and not your heart. And one can always choose to not look at my blog if one finds what I post annoying. I do have a variety that is for sure! Poems, thoughts, emotions, struggles, health issues, mindfulness. I share the photos because they make me feel happy. It saddened me for a moment when I thought it was annoying to someone else to see my photos. But I don’t write for the haters. I write for the survivors, those who choose to go through this journey with me, and those who choose to love.

7 thoughts on “What I really mean when I say mindful

  1. This post was very meaningful to me. I have tears in my eyes. I’m not exactly sure why, but you brought many thoughts to my mind.

    You are an excellent role model to me of mindfulness and how healing and helpful that could be. I try to be mindful of living one day at a time, but your mindfulness is much deeper than that.

    When I saw the photo of the bud beside a flower in full bloom, it made me think of you. You life is bound and restricted by your illness, but inside is this gorgeous flower. This flower is loose, free and flutters in the wind. This is who you are in Christ.

    I remember reading about a man who has many lizards. He says they have different personalities. I have read that about octopuses too. This thought also moves me. I want to pick up a lizard or talk to an octopus and tell them I’m sorry for what we humans have done to the earth.

    The spammers – or trolls? I think they feel big by trying to make others feel small, which I find very odd. I pray they find better use for their time. Lol

    The photo of the flower and sun together is amazing.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’m so glad my post touched you. I’m glad I explained what I do in a way that makes sense. I will say that those lizards DO have personalities!!!!
      Our dog, sadly, was a lizard killer. We laugh at the amount of them now and have said they have spread the word he is gone and they now have come by the tons . Between them and the tree frogs , walking out the door onto the deck is always fun.
      I really appreciate your comparison of the flowers and me. Thank you so much.
      That flower with the sunset is a tiny rose and i have taken hundreds of pictures over the years and it is never really clear. I think this one was finally my closest yet!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Bethany – I’m so glad you saw the SuperMoon. We we were cloudy and overcast in Brooklyn, so Grand Daughter A and I have marked the calendar for repeats, expected January 1 and January 31, 2018. And I do love Lithe Lizards! Heartfully, TS

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  3. I am envious of your ability to be so mindful. You pretty much nailed exactly what mindfulness is btw. You have trained your mind so well.

    I love that you call what you do, ‘heartfulness’ though. That is exactly what comes through from your pictures and explains why I am so drawn to really look at them.

    I love all of these photos.
    The bee in the flower, looks like he’s just coming in for the landing. What a great capture to get him from behind like that.

    The honeysuckle is the same kind we had outside one of our windows at our house. We would catch a glimpse of a hummingbird now and then feeding on it, which is why the previous owner probably planted them right at that window.

    The pink flowers are so vibrant.

    The splash of color among or in front of the brown is really eye catching. I really like those ones with the petals on the ground.

    The little blossoms coming out of the tree made me smile to think about how many months it will be before we see them up here again.

    And that lizard, what a nosy thing huh? Looking in your window like that. How rude. LOL
    Seriously though he’s (or she’s?) beautiful. We don’t see them up here. I always love to see them in your photos.

    I concur with BelleUnruh on the trolls.

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    • I look at each on too and see the different things I missed when I first saw them. I love the bee in flight so much. I have seen one humming bird on those honey suckle and that’s it. We have white ones too and they smell so wonderful.
      I loved the little blossoms coming out of the tree and wondered too how long it would take them to really come out.

      Liked by 1 person

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