9 thoughts on “Poetry

    • Ughhhh they ARE and I find rarely in my life someone understands it is out of my control. My brain’s conditioned response! Like just read about PTSD for fucks sake I feel like saying to these people!!!! Alright then..got that little outburst out of the way. Thanks for understanding

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      • It’s okay. I do understand… Without going into details. eight years ago… A trigger occurred. A grown man in his mid 30’s became ten years old in flash. I relived a horror my mind had buried and it was devastatingly real. It took me two years to gain my composure back. I try to write about it. I just can’t… I sit there, looking at the screen, crying. Anyway, no one really understands. Unless they themselves know. I don’t know if my words sound empty. Or if I am expressing myself really. It’s hard to write out such things. I’m sorry it is so bad 😦

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      • Your words are JUST what I needed to hear and I cannot thank you enough for sharing them with me.
        I’m 45 and to be triggered into something completely out of my control so that my mouth cannot speak words and my body cannot move and everything in my being is just 11 years old and I have no idea what my body is doing or where I go but it is definitely not here. It is something that happened today and it has sent me into a spiral of something I do not like so I need to really ground myself in the moment now and try and find a peaceful moment. All I feel currently is OPPOSITE of peace.
        I’m very sorry for what happened to you as that little boy and what brought those memories out. Some things can be spoken of. Some things are too hard to put into words. That’s why I wrote my The Girl series and sometimes write in third person so I can get the words out because living them as me is too hard.

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      • Thank you for sympathizing. It means a lot to me too. I will read your series… I had to change my High School diaries to first-person. I would switch back and forth so much I didn’t realize I did it so much.

        Someday. I hope soon. I will write about what happened. I keep trying to get “Therapy” for it. I just don’t seem to be able to do it. So I do that stubborn man thing and ignore it. I hate doctors… I have had too many for my physical self. I don’t know if I am ready again for someone to poke around inside my head again… lol..

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      • Oh I hear you!!! I have so many doctors too. And then to be analyzed at all in my mind is not what i would want. I would want someone to give me listening, validating, and coping. Period. I haven’t found that new person yet either. I am not sure I want to go there yet either. It really does take the right therapist to bare your soul to and all of those huge secrets that set up camp and swore to never come out. It takes awhile to peel back the layers.
        These things, now I see you know, are very difficult to talk about. Putting my life story on my blog is not an easy thing to do. Every vulnerability and every little piece that i never revealed outloud and here I tell it like I am just whispering it to some friends i trust. And I think that is truly what I am doing. I trust those who have given me support and love and kindness here on my blog more than many people in my own life who have abandoned me and been there only when convenient for them. This is hard stuff to talk about. If you want to talk, I will listen

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