I realized this morning that if I am dead to my ENTIRE family, then it was time I moved on. I know this will take time and small steps. It will be 3 years soon since I have heard from them and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I never will again. So the only one suffering here is me so I need to let them go.
The only way I know how to do that is a burning ceremony. So I burned my baby book, my childhood records, my “I am a twin” because I am NOT a twin. I am wife. I am a mother. But I am not a daughter or a sister or a cousin or a twin.
The book had to go.
After that I went out to the prairie and watched the sunset, listened to the birds, and lived right in this moment of just me being me.