Ah decisions decisions…

Do I go with the rated G version of “Don’t touch me” or do I go with the rated R version of “Do not fucking touch me”

Ah decisions decisions. There will be children there so I won’t do the fuck one. Will save that for the neighborhood trips!!!

Pretty sure both will make sure people DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!!!!

That with my sign on the back of my scoooter I think I will be in perfect shape to attend the camellia festival this weekend. Something I am very much looking forward to. My husband bought me two for christmas and there is a show with every variety flower being judged and some being sold and then acres of gardens to look at all wheelchair accessible yay!! So as to avoid any PTSD moments of startle or perfume/cologne people touching me this is what my wardrobe has come to. At least my fam understands this need enough to buy them for me!!!!!

39 thoughts on “Ah decisions decisions…

    • They were from my daughter. After years of seeing people touch me while in my scooter, pat me like a dog she was just done with seeing me disrespected and now knowing how many other issues of PTSD and the triggers of cologne it is just a great way to protect myself and not always be on guard watching for people coming at me. I freaking love them!

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      • What a great idea from your daughter and good on her for looking out for you. 🙂 Yes people can be so disrespectful. As a person who doesn’t like being touched myself but for different reasons, I can relate in a way. Though people don’t always do it to be disrespectful, they think they are doing the humanly thing by being in my bubble and I am like no get out of my space now I am having an anxiety attack. K thanks bye. 😦 Haha

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  1. I love your photos! I might not comment every time, but I always enjoy seeing them. I find your mindful outings and the nature photos very uplifting. I’ve posted about PTSD and anxiety recently … thought I would open up more about it. It is blogs like yours that have encouraged me to do it. You are helping others more than you know by sharing your struggles. I hope you are having a better day today. I appreciate it hasn’t been a great week for you. You never give up.
    Have a great day at the festival. Always good to have something to look forward to. And a plan of action to make it as enjoyable as possible. Love the tshirt idea. If it helps you, why not? People tend to touch out of affection and often, are genuinely meaning to be kind, by reaching out, and many have no idea they might be causing offence. They don’t realise that it comes over as patronising or invading one’s space. Many cultures find our western ways invasive. Affection is shown in private in many cultures; in some cultures it is perceived as being highly offensive if a stranger touches them. Even animals can get fed up with humans who constantly want to touch them.
    Respecting people’s space and cultural etiquette is fundamentally important.
    Being touched by strangers and patted like a dog … not nice.
    We all need to be educated about how to best respect others’ space. And to understand that we are all individuals with different needs.
    Great post, Bethany! Best wishes to you and all your followers for a very peaceful, happy, and liberating year.🌻

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  2. Haha, I fucking love the one on the right!
    This gives me a really good idea to have one made but with different words.

    I have this thing about people who stand so freaking close to me in line at a store they might as well be on my back. This happens so much to me and happened to me today at a dollar store.
    So I don’t know, something like, “Please don’t stand up my butt. Person wearing this shirt has PTSD and hates when people who don’t respect personal space, stand too close.”
    Needs a bit of work but you get the idea. LOL.
    —————————————————————————————————————————-

    So back to you, I just shake my head at this behavior of people…strangers walking up to you and touching you. Like, sorry, but wt actual f? I saw that comment above where you replied to someone and said that people give you eye rolls. My god! The rudeness of people. I mean, how about thinking there must be a reason for the sign. And then to ask you why. Why don’t you want to be touched by people you don’t know? Ugh!

    Have fun at the flower fest. Sounds like a nice time….as long as people heed the shirt. I hope it works. The only excuse is being illiterate and even that’s not an excuse because it’s just common courtesy not to just touch someone you don’t know while randomly meeting or walking by.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s awesome isn’t it!!!!
      I don’t like someone coming up behind me. That is my biggest issue. So i need to turn the shirt around backwards. Before it was an issue with me not saying no to someone coming up to me but I am beyond that I think. It is not that I don’t like being touched. I don’t like people I don’t know thinking it is ok to touch me. If i were standing or walking no one would come up and pat me on the shoulder or the head. It never happened my entire life. Minute i get into my scooter i am free game. And i don’t care the intention. People say oh they mean well. And i am sure some do but i dont care. I don’t care their intentions towards me. It is an invasion of my personal space and it is not ok to pat someone that you do not know that is in a chair if you would not feel comfortable doing it to them while standing. I am at a disadvantage so low down. I NEVER get to go on an outing without someone patting or touching me. And I am sick of it. I am sick of people’s perfume hands. I am sick of people hurting me by patting my shoulder too hard. I am sick of it triggering ptsd and ruining my outing. I am sick of bringing a change of shirt just incase they get their perfume or sneezed on hand on me (yep someone coughed in their hand once and then pat me) and i am sick of the startle affect of the ptsd someone just coming up behind me.
      So i can’t just be a person at a festival or a show or eating out because it isn’t that simple. I guess i am at a stage in my life where giving someone else the benefit of the doubt is beyond my boundaries and I am not going to be the devil’s advocate anymore. Nor do i just go along with the , Oh I know they were just being friendly. Nope. You don’t get to touch me because I m in a scooter.
      I’m doubting the entire flower fest at all now. I was looking forward to it but now there are already 700 people signed in to go and the last thing i want is to be around that number of people that i MAY know and that MAY think it is ok to just come up and catch up when my sole intention is to see flowers and take photos and enjoy my time with my husband.
      AND then there is my mother who attends all of these things and just the idea that i would see her unnerves me.
      My daughter said i could wear one of her very realistic and very expensive wigs , one that is red. And that would be great if not for the fucking scooter becaue in that i am given away. No incognito in that thing. Because it is rare to see someone my age in this town in it and everyone knows it is me.
      So i’m in a foul mood over the whole thing.
      So yeah…i know…you know how this goes. You make a simple thoughtful comment and I unload my life becaue you always listen and understand and sometimes i feel you are one of the few that even tries or asks or listens to my rambling fest!!!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Yes, it’s true, I don’t mind and I do understand some and definitely acknowledge the rest. Even empathize.

        I understood that it’s not about being touched per say, it’s about the personal space. I just picture that and think, “My god, what gets into people?”

        I completely understand that you wouldn’t want some person you don’t know come up and pat you or touch you in any manner. And someone coughing on their hand and then touching someone…just wtf? I don’t know, I’m outta words. I see a lot of space invading out there, a lot of just thoughtless behavior.

        I’d like to tell the people patting you on the head, “Dude, take a moment to ask yourself how you’d like it if people you never met, came up to you and touched your head. Hold on, lemme blow my nose and then run my fingers through your hair. Oh, you don’t want me to do that? Then what the f makes you think it’s OK to do that to someone else, wheelchair or no wheelchair. Human beings are still human beings.”

        I’d be curious if I’d have the guts to actually say anything in that situation. It makes me mad now, far away from it. The real test would be when push came to shove.

        I’m sorry you’re losing the excitement for going. I understand though. That’s a lot of people and then the added anxiety of seeing the mom. ugh! It does suck that the wigs won’t work because of the scooter too.

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      • Thanks for understanding.
        Last time my husband said to the nurse after he saw someone pat me that no one would ever even think to touch him nor has anyone that didn’t know him and yet because of the level i am in my scooter i am perfect patting position and yes people mean me no harm but like i said i don’t give a shit anymore. I don’t want anyone in my space. I already have to go out in this stupid scooter. I’m pissed i can’t just be walking in the first place.
        I’ve totally lost all excitement for going infact I may not. I was thinking though since there is free admission to bypass the camellia show and go to the bamboo gardens which i really loved last time we were there and go sit there and maybe take some pictures. That’s my latest thought.
        Even in therapy i never was able to get the words out in the moment that i WANT to say. There are tons of things i want to say but never have been able to

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have that issue too…getting the words out in the moment. That’s the freeze response. I hate it. Because then comes the ruminating later of all the shit you wished you would’ve said. It sucks. I don’t know how to get past that. But I swear I’m gonna figure it out.

        Is the Bamboo Garden a restaurant?

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      • Yes. I’m trying to get the dialogue now. I’ve been working on words that just stop people that are coming up to me from touching me and I am better at that than my reply if they do because freeze is mostly the scenario

        Liked by 1 person

      • Shoot i can’t remember where you posted about the bamboo garden. No it is a garden but it sounds like a great name for a restaurant.
        At this place. You can look it up it is called kanapaha botanical gardens. They have tons of gardens and miles of paved pathways. This is where the camellia festival is going to be. So I thought I could bypass the camellia people and go straight to the bamboo garden. It is gorgeous filled with thousands of bamboo and when they blow in the wind it sounds so cool. There are little buddhas all around and bridges. It is a really neat place. So if i hate the camellia world i will go to bamboo world

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. Bamboo is pretty cool. I know there are people who can’t stand it because you can’t kill it. There was a neighborhood that had all this bamboo where I used to walk a dog. Someone cut it all down and within the year it was all back to the same height it had been. I never heard it in the wind while it was still in the ground but people have bamboo wind chimes…not the same but they sound pretty nice.

        That place sounds like it would be great for taking photos. Can’t wait to see ’em if you go.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You are such a terrific blogger…I just love your blog…Truly inspiring… You are my hero….Loads of love to you…Hope we have a lasting friendship… May God bless you and your family❤❤You are a b’ful soul….

    Like

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