PERSPECTIVE

THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN AFTER BEING CARRIED UP ALL OF THESE STAIRS AS I CANNOT CLIMB STAIRS.

THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN WHILE IN MY SCOOTER

THESE PICTURES WERE TAKEN WHILE SITTING IN THIS CAR

THESE PICTURES TAKEN WHILE IN MY WHEELCHAIR

PICTURES TAKEN WHILE IN WHEELCHAIR

PICTURE TAKEN BRIEFLY STANDING NEXT TO MY SCOOTER

PICTURE TAKEN AFTER MY HUSBAND STOOD ME UP ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR

PICTURES I TOOK WHILE SQUATTING ON THE GROUND

PHOTOGRAPHY AND MINDFULNESS ARE A BEAUTIFUL THING. WHEN YOU SEE HOW EACH PICTURE WAS TAKEN I HOPE IT CAN PUT INTO PERSPECTIVE THE FEEL, THE ANGLE, THE MOOD, THE MODE, THE REALITY. I AM NOT OUT ON A WALK WITH A TRIPOD SET UP. I HAVE A MUSCLE DISEASE AND LYME DISEASE AND PTSD. I CHOOSE TO PHOTOGRAPH MOMENTS THAT TAKE ME AWAY FROM ALL OF THOSE DISEASES. I PHOTOGRAPH TO KEEP LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE.

IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO KEEP LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE. SO SEE THINGS FROM DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES. A DIFFERENT ANGLE CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING. SOMEONE TO CARRY YOU UP THE STAIRS CAN GIVE YOU A DIFFERENT VIEW. SQUATTING DOWN TO LOOK AT A FLOWER WITH THE SUN AND THE BLUE SKY CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

WE EACH HAVE OUR CHALLENGES.

I JUST WANTED TO SHOW THAT SOMETIMES WHAT ONE ASSUMES OF ANOTHER IS WRONG. NO ONE MAY KNOW HOW I GOT THAT PICTURE. THAT I ENDED UP STUCK IN MY WHEELCHAIR FOR AN HOUR WHEN I TOOK THAT PICTURE OF THE BIRD ON THE BIRDBATH BECAUSE THE GROUND WAS TOO SOFT. BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT.

PHOTOGRAPHY HAS GIVEN ME A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. I SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. I VIEW THINGS DIFFERENTLY. IT’S A GOOD THING. I HOPE I CAN INSPIRE OTHERS TO GO OUT AND SHIFT THEIR PERSPECTIVE.

Conversations with a bird. His reply in quotes.

” WHAT? So what you’re saying is that you have lost your entire family? They are still alive but refuse to speak to you because you spoke out about the abuse you endured? OMG! What in THE FUCK is wrong with them!!! So you’re all alone raising your daughter while you have a disease and she is also sick ALONE…because they can’t handle that YOU WERE abused? DAMN girl!!! You deserved better!!!”

” I hear you! You feel like a vacuum has sucked out every part of your insides so you are a shell of a numb person. Everyone who should have fought for you, loved you, protected you, ended up breaking the shell of what was left. Yep. Gonna need a moment with that one.”

” So you have PTSD? From all of the men who used you and abused you? I am so sorry!!! I’m going to just take a second and say a prayer for you and be present because no one should have gone through what you have had to go through. ”

“Are you seriously telling me that you had 5 seizures! You lost half your memory! No one has offered to bring you food, clean your house, take you anywhere? No one calls you daily? Weekly? No one?? And you say your husband is gone for another month??!!! What in THE HELL is wrong with people!!!!”

” OK so then in the middle of this you’ve had people from your past messaging you bringing up horrid things and not respecting the trauma you endured? And your so called friends are too “busy” with their own self induced drama to even check on you? Fuckers!!!! You deserve better girl! But I know…hard to meet new people when you can barely get out and take care of someone round the clock.”

“Your heart rate is what? And you still have to put sheets on the bed, make dinner, and you can barely move your legs? Let me see that heart monitor! OMG. What was that? Your best friends died of cancer? That’s so sad. And your other friends aren’t really even friends because why? What is their excuse? Their husband’s suck? Really? That’s it???!!!!!! Oh fuck no. I’m stepping in to give the eye on this one”

“Yeah, I saw her kissy face on instagram too. She has no time to message you but she can put a kissy face on instagram. Stupid selfish bitch. I’ll kisssy face her ass.”

” You were greeted by a hawk? Can I see a picture? You have wisteria growing down your fence? I want to see that too! You went and drove to the church after to pray for your daughter? I thought you were too tired! Yep, I get it, your daughter is worth it. If I were human I would sit with you and pray with you. ”

“Thank you for bringing me some oats. Most people just bring bread and that isn’t good for us. I bet your husband won’t be happy you took his whole raw oats though. Yeah, he’d be glad you got out and were able to talk to someone who actually listened. Although, you really did over do today. Maybe you should rest. For like a year! I’m sorry no one sees you like I do. I’m sorry that no one nurtures you and loves you like you need to be loved.When you watch that sunset tonight, just remember you talked to a bird and she listened and heard, even if no one else in the world did. ”

I’m sorry I havent read blogs

I’m so sorry I have not been reading blogs and keeping up with my friends here on wordpress.

My brain is so overtaxed and overstimulated that I get through one sentence and I just can’t can’t read. Can’t read a book. Can’t stay focused on a TV show. I am just in great need of silence in my brain and zero input of information as I seem to be extremely overwhelmed. So I hope no one minds I will just keep posting the pictures I find in my mindful/soulful calming moments of the day until I am able to be more. I wish I could be more and give support and love to the heartfelt words put out on blogs by those I deeply care about.

I will again as soon as I can.

Just know I do think of each of you.

Sometimes taking care of myself means shutting everything else down. It is a form of self love that I have never given myself but I’ve been acutely aware of running on empty and have been pulling back a little.

Thank you for understanding! I know we have our own struggles and battles. Wishing you all well and love.