I have this terrible sadness for a thousand reasons combined.

I keep feeling the tears coming but I absolutely cannot cry.

I’ve been sick for a few days and for this very moment I can breathe.

If I cry then all the congestion will get worse again.

I thought instead of crying or trying not to cry I would share a little bit of Laney. It’s hard to sum up 14 years of Laney but here is a glimpse:

I was friends with a dog rescue lady named Blue. She took in rescues of the worst kind. She nursed them all back to health. She was an awesome individual. Sometimes when I lose faith in humanity I think of women like her. I’ve come across some pretty phenomenal women in my life. She was one of them. When we decided we wanted to get a dog I knew I would want one from Blue. I went out to her place and had a huge choice. Each in a different state of rehab. Then there was Laney. She was running around jumping in and out of a golf cart. She was yellow and I thought maybe she’d be a lab when she grew up. My husband still reminds me of this! I sucked him in to the yellow blue eyed dog that would be a lab. She ended up being a yellow dog with yellow eyes and was far more like a dingo/fox/ coyote than any lab.

We took her to the vet and he gave her a pretty dismal prognosis. Her kidneys were bad. She had mange. Her immune system was trashed. I just had to have her though.

We tried to crate train her because we were told that was the best way. Yeah…not for Laney. She was not meant to be in a crate. I know some dogs see them as their safe place/den. Not Laney. She was not content and did not let anyone sleep until she was in bed with our daughter. After her mange was treated that is exactly where she went.

She loved to run. She loved to jump.

We have an acre next to us that has rocks piled up. The foxes use it as their den in the spring. The rest of the year Laney ran around that rock pile like it was a track and then ran up the rocks and stood on the top like a cougar.

She loved to hide in the bushes and actually thought we couldn’t see her.

We used to take her to the mile ride through the prairie just so she could run. She would run the full length of the prairie and back with still energy to spare. So then I would take her on a two mile wheelchair run.

Laney was afraid of everything. The ceiling fan, a back pack, a hat, sunglasses, a broom, if you moved the furniture around, if you raised your voice, she was afraid.

She had the same routine every day. She had her backyard agility training time. Her chase the ball time. Her lay in the sun time. Her evening front yard lounge time with us.

The funny things about her…she did not eat her bowl of food. She used to eat a few bites at a time so we always had to have food down for her. Every day when we told her it was time for her walk she immediately ran to her food bowl and ate (which they aren’t supposed to do before a walk but she only ate two bites), then she drank water but didn’t swallow it, she would let it drip out of her mouth all the way to the window where she would stand and look out of. This was an every day occurrence. I would sit in my wheelchair and say HELLO ????as she would be looking out the window. She knew darn well it was time for our walk because I was holding her collar and her leash was attached to my chair. She’d then run to me so fast that her feet would slip on the wood floor and she’d barely move then always slip and fall. WHY?? OMG Lane. She finally got her collar on and then we would go. She pulled so hard on her side of the chair that she would make the tires bald on that side. We got her a gentle leader, a harness, nothing changed. She always felt like she had to pull me. It was a 300 lb wheelchair but she was gung-ho ready to run. So we ran. Well I sped and she ran. We’d stop to talk to a neighbor and she would immediately passout into nap mode right in the road. People would drive by and stare like she was just dead on the side of the road. Nope. She was just napping. It was just her way. All of her 14 years she did the same thing.

She had beds in every room but she always chose to sleep with my daughter. She LOVED my daughter. When my daughter would go away for a week in the summer to visit her grandma, Laney would just sleep in my daughter’s bed and refuse to move or eat. Then my daughter would come home and Laney would ignore her like she was mad for about an hour and then she would cry with joy.

She loved Christmas. We spent most of the morning letting her open her gifts from her stocking and then piling them all in the kitchen on her favorite pink blanket.

I was just looking through my instagram photos of her. I have SO many photos of her. We talked last night about how we always thought we had too many photos of her but now I wish there were more! We have videos that fill up an external hard drive on our computer. Laney was family.

She destroyed basically everything. Every comforter, chair leg, yeah everything. We always said she ended up being the most expensive free dog there ever was.

She liked her hearing protection I’d put on her when she napped because she was scared of sounds. As she got older she loved ice packs on her hips when she hurt. The greatest part of her getting older is she lost some hearing so some of her fears were gone. She obsessed over watching my daughter in her later years. She would often wake up to Lane just staring at her at the end of her bed. She took a photo and we still laugh at the ” you know when you have that feeling someone is watching you and they are!!!”

Laney hated other dogs. They made her so nervous that she would foam at the mouth. We are talking full foam from mouth to the ground like a rabid dog. We tried to do what they tell dog owners to do, socialize them, take them to the dog park. That was not for Lane. She became foam mouth and we had to leave. She was like that 2 year old that bit everyone in the play group. She never bit anyone but she always had that look of MAYBE?

So Laney ran through the prairie, she swam in the lake, she ran on my wheelchair, she played in our acre that was fenced, and she slept with my daughter.

She loved. She loved us so much.

She hated her baths like all dogs. Couldn’t be bathed in the tub or she would claw you to death. So she was bathed in the hose. And she held up one paw like misery! We always felt bad that she shivered. Until…one day we took her to the lake for New Years. We were all in the house and we look out and Lane is out swimming in the middle of the lake and it is FREEZING. She was thrilled. No shivering!!! We were like WHAT!!!!!!!!

All those years of us blowing her dry and putting on her jacket thinking she was traumatized and cold. Nope. She just didn’t like her bath. But we kept blow drying her and putting her jacket on because we don’t know why she hated it.

We don’t know why she was afraid of raised voices or brooms or why other dogs scared her.

Blue told me she had rescued her from a known dog fighting area in town. Something had happened to her. I knew trauma. I knew fear. So we loved her. We paid for expensive trainers and we learned that you can’t take the trauma away. You can just love them. So we loved our Laney. 14 years we loved her.

We still do. We always will.

34 thoughts on “Laney

    • Laney was only one of her names. She came to all of them. Her given name was Molly charlotte kays. But then that turned to molly moo. Then moon. Then laney lou. Then lane. Then elena. But mostly we called her Laney. She came to all of her names though.

      Liked by 1 person

    • We miss her terribly. We tried to have a foster dog but I was allergic and realized how difficult it is to have a small dog when we have foxes and owls. Life was just plain easier when Laney was here!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Great pictures! It’s been tough keeping tears (and my contacts) sucked in. I’ve no doubt you all gave her the best possible experience of love and life Earth has to offer to furry family members! She deserved it after whatever she went through.


  2. My Brut who died 3 years ago, was a lot like your Laney and marched to the beat of a different dog biscuit. 😉 Most conventional training never worked with my Brut, we ended up creating it as we went along.

    I understand your loss, and it never really ends. But maybe the two have met up somewhere, to smile down on us both. ❤


    • Awwwww sounds JUST like her and we lost her 3 years ago this July and it just never goes away. I miss hearing her click down the hall on our floors because we don’t have carpet it’s just so stinkin quiet! And she didn’t bark in the house. Slept like a rock.
      Until her last year she got dementia and wandered around and barked at the shower which was unnerving but she was happy as a lark.
      I love the thought that they have found each other and beat to their own little doggy drum and are totally fine with it.
      I have these crazy dreams when someone is mean to my daughter that I see Laney walking across the state line to this hard core music and she will glance over her shoulder at me as if saying ” I got this taken care of” and I wake up and think WHAT ON EARTH.
      I’ve had many dogs in my life. We had tons as a child. But none were like her and Jess. We had them both at the same time. We got Jess hoping it would calm her and give her company but she did not care one bit about Jess and just continued her obsession over my daughter and did her own thing.
      Thanks for sharing about Brut

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I see similarities in her and Ace…one of the dogs whose pics I posted recently. Not so much in the personality you describe, although he was a puller, but they look a lot alike in photos. She was gorgeous and sounds like a really fun dog.


      • He passed too, some time ago. He was a sweet dog but as he aged he became more neurotic or maybe even had some neurological issues. He would snap at the air at imaginary bugs. It was sad. He never snapped at people though.

        My friend who found him thinks he was a Shepherd mix. (One of those more solid cream color German Shepherds.) But if he was Shepherd, he was definitely mixed with something else. The plan was to find him a home but they ended up keeping him. 🙂

        I hope you are feeling better.


      • OMG molly was the same. Saw things that weren’t there. Barked at things that weren’t there. Snapped at bugs too!!!!
        We had a cream shepard growing up that looked like your picture.
        I felt better yesterday. I’m sure because I overdid with the laundry last night and today and then the groceries were conveniently bagged by a perfume hand gel girl so I had to literally throw away every single container and put it in a zip lock bag. I feel like literal death now. Like a walking dead person. My body just hurts and yet feels numb. It sucks. Thank you for asking or hoping i was feeling better.


      • Aw man. I’m sorry you feel like shit.
        I also hate those perfumed ppl in the store.
        The other night I went to Whole Foods and walked in around the same time this dude did, with heavy nasty cologne on. He was actually in front of me so I caught the nauseous trail. He went all the over to the other end of the store and I found a way to go where he hadn’t walked. But guess who I end up with in back of me in line. Ugh…he stunk. I almost moved to another line but then I was like, Fuck that. I’m not getting in some even longer line because he has to bathe in nasty. I wanted to ask him to go to another line but I didn’t.

        That sucks you had to throw the containers away. I wish they’d stop making all those stinky things. I can’t use that stuff if it’s all chemical…the ones made with essential oils are better but still pretty strong.


      • Exactly!!!! Why!!! It’s so invasive I feel and that scent lingers!!! I went for a walk the other day adn kept smelling perfume and finally caught up to the walking girl while i was in my scooter flying around and i was thinking to my self ok you’ve stunk up the entire neighborhood with this shit! At least have something floral or light i mean the heavy shit just kills me!!!
        I recycled them so i didnt feel as bad and i did it all in super duper anger and after realized i had overdone and hurt all of my muscles but hey i did it. My daughter uses this rose oil mist spray on her face and i actually like that.


      • So this chick takes a walk out in nature but dumps a bunch of perfume on herself first? I’m sorry but wtf?

        Being an outdoor person for most of my life, that just seems like a waste, if you like that kind of thing.

        It really is intrusive. And when people put it on they obviously give no thought to how it effects others.

        As I was leaving Whole Foods that night I was thinking, “What is it you’re covering up that you have to wear so much of that stuff?”

        I know that’s mean but there it is. And I didn’t say it, I just thought it. lol

        I’ve mixed essential oils with water in spray bottles and used them like your daughter or even for air freshener.


      • When my husband and I go to the state parks and wildlife places we wonder the SAME fucking thing. They are outside. What made them think hmmmm let me dump tons of cologne on while headed out to the woods!!!! Must be habit? Idk but I hate it.
        And right. Like just bathe. Take a shower and be on with it!
        I think that thing all the time.
        I used to have lavender that I mixed with water in a spray bottle and would spray it if I was having a freak out over something but now even that smell bothers me

        Liked by 1 person

  4. What an absolute precious baby. There might be no greater heartbreak than losing a furry friend. I’m so sorry for your loss Bethany. The nose in the yogurt pic is my favorite. She seemed like a perfect lesson, gift and teacher of unconditional love. ❤️


  5. What a gorgeous tribute to a gorgeous fur-kid, by a gorgeous soul! Wow. I am so sorry for your loss; y’all were very lucky to have each other, and y’all are more than lovely enough to deserve each other! May all of you find spaces of healing peace and comfort 🌹🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

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