Will you cry and tell your friends you can’t see me?
Will you get sympathy?
“You know it’s just so sad I can’t see Bethany”
Oh but you get to see her twin
On OUR birthday
So what do you say then?
What excuses do you tell your friends?
I hope they know my last name
So they can skip on over to my poetry
So they can see your words are just
I really hope they look at you and truly see
You CHOSE this life for you AND for me.
I hope they see you for who you really are.
I know you like other’s pity
But you certainly don’t deserve it for me.
Do they know of my PTSD?
My muscle disease?
And that YOU left ME?
Or does that not play into your planned sympathy.
So tomorrow it’s my birthday as you know
That surprise twin who miraculously showed!
As you celebrate with him
I hope you OWN
All YOU’VE created
All the sorrow
While you were gone you missed my short hair
You’d probably not like it anyway
You’ve missed all my exciting photography
Eh you’d say it was just a phase.
You also missed the seizures and hospital stays
Oh and the last 3 years of my birthday cakes
And every other in between day
And your granddaughter…but with that…I cannot say…
Remember me on this day you gave birth
This day you brought me onto this earth
And chose to kick to the side like a piece of dirt.
Thankfully my husband of 21 years has reminded me of my worth.
He doesn’t pick and choose
Pieces of me to win or lose
Like you do
He’s proud of all of me
Even the emotions, the abused parts,
And God forbid!
The fact that I sometimes feel expected hatred.
46 years I’ve lived
I will celebrate despite you mom
Just at least tell your friends today
YOU chose to move on
It’s my birthday
Yet to you
I’m dead and gone.
I’m surrounded by those who see me fighting
They chose to stay
Like the sad lyrics
Of a tragic love song
I guess the saying is not true
There is not always a mother daughter bond
Sometimes I miss you
It doesn’t last for long
As I’m reminded
On my birthday
I don’t even have a mom