The prayer garden and health

I stood in the rain and took these. I felt drawn there to pray that day even in the rain. My camera got wet but it survived. I’ve never prayed for myself but I did this day. I have contracted lyme disease again from a tick and after not getting better I saw the doctor this past week who ordered 30 days of injections of antibiotics. They are excruciatingly painful and finding an area that is not atrophied from my muscle disease has been difficult. The picture of the shot is the last one if you have an aversion to needles. The needle is just huge!!! And my heart rate is through the roof just laying here. But I needed to pray for myself because this journey in my health totally aside from mental health has become very painful and difficult. That one rose gave me a little hope though. I also stumbled across two photos my husband took of me last weekend when the horses came up. Pretty cool right! Such a mix of struggle and happy moments. I have to actively seek the happy moments though. Laying here in my bed just won’t create them.

22 thoughts on “The prayer garden and health

    • My husband is giving me the injections. Without him I would be very much alone. And ofcourse my precious daughter but I try to spare her as much as I can from the details of my ongoing struggles. She sees it and we do talk about it but not daily. We try to keep things as positive as possible.
      I didnt know a person could become reinfected but yep, you can! Active infection has really taken me down neurologically and muscularly. Very frustrating. I can only hope for the best.
      I hope you are doing ok with your health. I think of you and always am hoping you are healing

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      • I am getting better , thank you for asking. I had two oral surgeries so far, two bone grafts, two deep cleanings, and they had to take one tooth. They may be able to save the rest. I have another cleaning tomorrow. I have one more oral surgery to go. Turns out one of the things making me ill was an infection in my gums down to the bone and it was eating my jaw.

        I can see why you are frustrated, you have struggled so hard just to keep the health you have. How is your daughter? Last you mentioned her to me she was very ill and you were trying to take care of her. I hope your vision problem is better. In your pictures you seem happy even with the stuff going on, that takes courage and strength. Best wishes. Hugs

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      • On no an infection below the jaw. I have heard that can make you septic really quick. It must have been making you so ill!!! I’m so sorry to hear that. You must have been miserable and for sure not able to heal from other things while your body was fighting that.
        My pictures are little moments of happiness for sure. They let me not focus on my body and my mind and look outside of it all. I love that about pictures. My vision is still an issue but that will take another appointment that I’m not prepared to do right now.
        I can talk about my daughter on email but she doesn’t want me to on my blog. But thank you for caring and asking about her

        Liked by 1 person

  1. oh hun, so sorry you got lime disease, I will pray the injections work, and you heal soon from it, horses, yay, love them, youre lucky to have some near you they are sooo lovely. xo

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    • I loved listening to the horses make horse noises and eat grass and move around me like I was just a plant or something there on the ground. They are wild horses that have been out on the prairie and move from the wetland park to the state park because they are all there to protect the animals so they have been wild for hundreds of years.
      The shots hurt terribly. I feel like there is no way I can handle 21 more of them. Plus the injections kill the bacteria which makes me feel sicker. I’m so frustrated. I hope they work and I can handle the shots. Thank you!!!

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  2. You are such a fighter. You inspire me to look for the beautiful in times of anguish. I think “if Bethany can do it with both physical and mental pain, I can do it too!” I love that you share both your times of strength and vulnerability. Don’t ever doubt that you make a difference in this world. I am cheering you on to leave your bed, but maybe later you could sit in a comfy chair with a favorite beverage and think nice thoughts about yourself and give yourself credit for trying so hard while going through so much. I will pray that the medicines help and this latest setback becomes just a memory for you. Sending a hug – O – Sandie

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  3. The first flower has a face. The water, wow, I love that stop action like that. It reminds me of (I think it was) Sesame Street had an excerpt or scene or whatever you call it where kids were playing with water fountains and the way it was edited, it slowed down the water as it was streaming. I remember being so mesmerized by that. I could’ve watched that all day.

    That horse got really close to you, that’s pretty cool.

    I’m so sorry you are going through all this with lyme AGAIN! And those shots. I’m really sorry, I was going on in my last emails and I forgot you were going through these shots. I so hope the medicine works and that the other side of these needles comes quickly for you.

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    • Oh I haven’t even looked at my emails. I’m so sorry!
      But don’t worry about that anyway. Don’t worry thta I am having shots and so that diminishes what you are going through. I took a day off and then I had to resume them yesterday. If the needle just wasn’t so freaking big and long! And didn’t have to go into muscle that is barely there!
      I loved the face on the flower and I loved the water fountain. I watched it while I was standing in the rain.

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      • It’s okay that you haven’t looked at your emails. You know I can go for weeks without checking it. There’s nothing that can’t wait.

        I know it doesn’t diminish or minimize my stuff, it’s just that, well, we all have to deal with our own shit and if someone is in so much pain, my rambling, about something I have to figure out for myself, well…Idk, I’ll stop now. lol. I wish you didn’t have to go through that. Yeah, that needle is big. I thought you were going to show a pic of it going into your leg, with the warning about needles for those who are squeamish. I don’t like to see a needle going in. I always look away when they take my blood.

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      • Nope. No way I would do that. I felt bad after just posting the needle but I wanted people to realize it isnt a tiny little thing. I hate on Instagram and social media ANY TIME someone goes to the hospital they post a picture of the IV in their arm every fucking time. I’m like yep. I know. Been there probably 1000 times in my life so sorry for you but I don’t need to see that shit. I look away when they do anything with a needle. Thankfully this needle goes into my butt cheek so I can’t see it anyway! I just hear ” one two three” no visual.
        There is actually something iw anted to email you about but i felt it was rude to without reading yours first so i havent

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  4. I wish I knew what the flowers are. They may be some of my favorites. I love unordinary and beautiful things….kinda like you. It’s not ordinary for people to be as kind as you and as appreciative of this Earth’s magic. What you’ve experienced has helped form great character in you, but you don’t deserve to hurt. You are so sincere & I’m thankful to know you here.

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    • Thank you. I so appreciate that!
      It’s kind of like dandelions. I love them even though they are everywhere each one is still beautiful. Thank you for noticing my love for everything in nature

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