A little bit about me

My maiden name is Bethany Dianne Wilcox. I was born a few minutes after my twin brother Andy Wilcox. I have an older brother Bill who was put up for adoption by my mother but who later found us when I was around 18 years old. I grew up in Keystone Heights Florida on Lily lake. I took many years of ballet, jazz, and tap. I took acting lessons and had a small part in a A Christmas Carol. I also acted, danced, and sang in a small theater group called the Melrose Music theater. I learned how to waterski when I was 4 years old. My first professional waterskiing jobs were in the summers starting at 16 years old. My first job was at Indiana Beach. My second job was in Canada at Boblo Island. My third job was waterskiing at Seaworld in Orlando Florida. Before that, I was a member of the Gatorland Ski team and we skied at Cypress Gardens, and even traveled to Costa Rica when I was 14 to do a ski show there. I got my degree in Early Childhood education with a specialty in teaching children with disabilities. I had my only child when I was 24 years old and got married to her father and love of my life 6 months later when I was 25 years old. We got married in the woods with only the man who married us, in our favorite place with wildflowers as my bouquet. When my daughter started school I became an advocate for the elderly and a hospice Chaplain. I also started volunteering at a retirement home for horses (the horses who had been used for testing), a primate sanctuary that took in abused and discarded zoo animals, and doing wild life rehab for baby squirrels, birds, tortoises and many others.

My volunteer work ended when I was diagnosed with a muscle disease called Central Core Myopathy. The disease has a mutation in the RyR1 gene and I do not have this mutation. I have a rare form with no known cause. I have been on 3 case studies for this disease to try and find out how to pinpoint what is causing it, one in Canada, one in England, and one at the National Institute of Health. Currently my DNA is being studied by a research scientist in the US. The search is still on for what is causing my muscles and my bones to deteriorate. Each has tried to make a connection between the bones, my muscles, and even my seizures, and multiple chemical sensitivities, but no answers have been found.

My daughter is 21 years old. I just celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary and also turned 46 years old.

I have always and still love all things nature. I write poetry, enjoy photography immensely, and go for daily walks in my wheelchair to practice mindfulness.

My mother and father divorced when I was around 16 years old. My mother married 2 more times and my father once. My twin brother is married and raised his wife’s two boys. My older brother has 2 children.

My dad was a computer genius. My mother a mental health counselor. Her mother, my nana, lived across the lake from us and was an integral part of our life. She was an elementary school teacher, Rosemary Tenney. The most wonderful woman I have ever had the honor of knowing.

I was unable to drive for over 10 years until I decided to give myself one year to work my strength up to driving again. I started by sweeping one bedroom of our house a week. That moved to two. Then walking to the mail box. Then taking out the garbage. And so forth. I can now drive 5 miles to take photographs of the animals on the prairie although I cannot actually walk very far when I get to where I am going. My next step is getting a wheelchair lift for my car.

6 months ago I had many grandmal seizures that wiped out some of my memory. I still struggle with some short term memory and word recall but otherwise most has come back.

I can spend an hour watching a lizard, a bird, an ant, or the clouds blowing in the sky.

I suffer from PTSD and am working daily to find coping skills to work through the nightmares of my past…the reason I began my blog.

I was abused for most of my childhood by many different men, most in the waterskiing circle. 11 or so years ago I was then attacked again by my best friend’s husband which brought the full force of my past into the present.

I believe in God and I talk to Jesus daily. I also respect other religions and those who practice them and those who don’t believe in religion at all. I meditate. I do yoga. I love reading quotes and books from those with great wisdom like Maya Angelo, Mother Theresa, and the teachings of Buddha.

I don’t judge others by the clothes they are wearing, their weight, their choice of partner in life, the food they eat, or anything else physical.

I kissed a girl once, and I liked it!

I sold my body once to pay the rent.

I am not ashamed of my choices.

I am proud of the woman that I am, the wife that I am, the mother that I am.

I am tormented by nightmares of the past and if I were to speak of anything I don’t like it is those who make thoughtless comments to victims of abuse, or those in wheelchairs, and people who protect sex offenders, and people who purposely harm animals.

My family, in it’s entirety, left my life 3 years ago. They want to live in denial of the abuse I endured and the consequences of their inaction.

I currently live with my loving husband and daughter. My 2 sweet dogs passed away after living 14 wonderful years. They could never be replaced, but I would say that the owls, hawks, foxes, and birds that grace my presence daily are trying very hard to keep me feeling like I am not alone.

I took up photography, have absolutely no idea what I am doing, but love it anyway, after my husband bought me a camera for Christmas and I have yet to read the manual.

So that is a little bit about me for those who missed the last 3 years of my blog! I write about my past and present. A trigger warning is on my about page as I often speak of explicit details of abuse. I hide nothing. I continue to be authentic and transparent as I want my life and my story and my truth to help others.

22 thoughts on “A little bit about me

    • Sorry I have had my hands full and have not read blog posts for a number of weeks,
      I’m so sorry to hear you are in the hospital. I hope they are treating you well and helping.

      Like

      • The doctor did the best she could. We saw three different psychiatrist while we were there, and the second one we saw said that if I didn’t learn to control my dissociation I would never get better. They also put us on eating disorder protocol for like two days and then took us off because we were eating 50% of her meals.
        Ray

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I am very happy to know you more. You’re amazing and I admire what you are doing in your life. Continue sharing yourself to the world because you are an inspiration to manyof us here 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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