A little bit of dark poetry of a ptsd brain

I heard the high pitched scream

From far away.

I walked down the hall

Following the sound

Opened the door

Walked out

It sounded like a murder

Of one animal

To another

Or the mourning

Of maybe a mother

Piercing

The night

I stood there terrified

I got my flashlight

Searched for a reflection

Of anyone’s eyes

The sound was gone

The cicadas buzzed in my ears

I wanted to scream at them to shut up!

I’m trying to HEAR

With no other desperation type sounds

I came back inside to sit down

Hoping nothing was suffering

Or out there dead

So I got under my covers

Settle in my bed

Let go of any of that awful dread

When the screaming comes back

And my own voice said,

“YOU’RE THE ONE SCREAMING

INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD!”

17 thoughts on “A little bit of dark poetry of a ptsd brain

      • Oh, I hate that screaming in the brain thing, too.

        One night, I think it was about 17 or 18 years ago, when I was going through a divorce and living alone and feeling utterly unloved and abandoned, I went for a long drive to try to get out of my own head. But the drive was not helping. I kept wanting to scream, and so finally I did. I screamed and screamed and screamed at the top of my lungs, while driving my car down a deserted highway in western Pennsylvania.

        I ended up with a very sore throat. Whew… I am so grateful that I don’t hurt like that anymore!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. That was a surprise ending. Not that I’m surprised that that’s happened of course, having PTSD, it unfortunately goes with the territory. I don’t know if I have that or if I do I am so impulsive it comes out before I notice it in my head.

    Acknowledging your reply to Linda Lee’s comment, “Isn’t it so sad any of us has ever felt such pain…” Yes, yes it really is. When I read the last two lines I could feel my heart wrench. 😦

    I want to also say though that the poem was really reminiscent of Edgar Allen Poe.

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    • Is it really ? Or Poe? I will have to read more of his poetry and see.
      I was trying to capture the torture that I could not escape from my own brain. I can’t do it unless it is in poetry form

      Liked by 1 person

      • Poe wrote dark poetry. I’m only familiar with a couple:
        The Tell Tale Heart (barely) and The Raven.
        My father was able to recite The Raven and he did it in a British accent really well.
        One day, while he was puttering around in his bedroom, he started to recite it and about half way through he forgot the rest and started to improvise.

        I was either a teen or in my early twenties at the time. I had been walking by from my room to go downstairs and when I heard him improvising I stopped at the top of the stairs and listened. It was pretty fun and funny.

        Too bad it was before video cameras were attached to our hips. I would’ve loved to get that on video or at least audio.

        He saw me after he’d finished and I told him it was great improv and we laughed together. He was into community theater so the improvisation was something he did really well and as messed up as things were, he had one helluva sense of humor. He also did stuff like that (reciting poetry and tongue twisters too) to keep his voice ‘fit’ because he was a radio announcer and later he did voice overs for commercials.

        Okay, so that went in a weird direction. Free association from Edgar Allen Poe.

        Your question at the beginning of your reply comment…I’m not sure what the questions are referring to.

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      • That was such a cool story and memory. I’m so glad you shared it. Thank you.
        My question at the beginning was just a question of ” is it really like someone’s famous poetry?” Because I read other poets and they use big fancy words that I have to look up and mine are pretty simple so i just took that as a compliment that you said that

        Liked by 1 person

      • Definitely a compliment. You are talented poet. You don’t need big fancy words to get those emotions through to others. Which is part of what I think poetry is for really.

        Like

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